UNDOING AN AVATAR OF FALSE EMOTIONS

     When we are self-focused, looking "inside ourselves" for truth and using what we see there as the baseline of our reality, we will see either a saint or a villain; the wisest person on earth or the stupidest. Since we never get a clear picture of the real "us", due to the fluctuation we experience on a daily basis our view of reality gets distorted. We seek to be praised to cover-up an exposed insecurity and shame opposed to understanding our shame is normal and God has removed that from us, instead of gratitude, we seek something else. A vile exchange transpires, soon we become so confused and lost that we give up trying to figure out who we really are and create an "avatar" to project to the world. We dig deep into what we wish we really were like and then try and pretend to be that kind of person. Some of us have been doing this for a very long time already--this is why we have fewer and fewer authentic and healthy relationships. But let us be reminded we are all fully known and yet still, fully loved. Its okay to air out some dirty laundry, that closet isn't a closet to God, and skeletons and roaches aren't concealed from the gaze of the almighty. He stands there armed to the teeth as the divine exterminator ready to hall the skeletons out in caskets and exterminate the roaches with incredulous efficiency, attention to detail is not lacking when Jesus is let in to these closets of shame. He removes, heals and walks out as if the closet had been clean the whole time and nothing out of the ordinary was amiss.

    Once we become aware we have a problem we begin to seek solutions in temporary fixes or allusions of beautiful retreats away from the confines of difficult daily living, yet we don't really know what we want, for we wont know real beauty until we have faces that properly mirror that glory that we all in some way shape or form seek after. And what the holy spirit reveals to us is an awakening and newborn desire to be brought into the community of the blessed Trinity; to become one with the infinite and blend in with the maker who spoke into existence the cosmos.  

    However a redemptve plan had to take place for this newborn spiritual desire to take root in our hearts.The composition of the trinity was forever altered when Jesus came in disguise. Moved by mercy, He removed the insignia of his majesty, to be found without form or majesty, but not so in power, this is what Paul is referring to when He says "his body is weak but his words are strong" Worldly fluctuations in appearance and form is not what is real. What is unseen (thoughts, emotions, feelings) is more the real in the sense than what is seen, for our faces can mask emotions, we can lie, in Gods presence, those transformed faces cannot, indeed because they wish not too, every irrational thought and desire is done away with and we are known as we've always been known, naked before God, perfect beauty instead of concealed shame. In a way I see this as a false image we put on. An avatar so to speak. Lets all keep in mind that, while emotions are real, they are undependable, unreliable, inconsistent, and they change from one moment to another, often rapidly. Making decisions entirely based off emotions is like allowing a drunk to get behind the wheel of a school bus.--the bus will be all over the road and it isn't going to turn out well for anyone. Emotions should have a 'seat' on the bus, just not the drivers seat. The #1 antidote for living life based on the emotions we feel, is to remind ourselves: feelings are real! They just aren't fact. This is what I feel but this is what is true. This struggle will go on for most of our lives. For we all wage war, well those fighting the good fight wage war, others are succumbing to the irrational animalistic side of their nature. The spiritual being that is the 'real you' is incarcerated inside a wordly shell of false emotions. Like an acorn seed itself, it cannot grow unless watered (by the word) and transformed into what it was created to be. Germinate! We all must poke our heads outside the topsoil into that which is real life and continue to ask for the healing rays of the sunshine and bask in the fresh rain of the divine comforter. Without which we shall surely perish.

     Now back to my idea of the "avatar", this front or pretense we put on, begins to get phonier, more false, more unauthentic, more selfish and more demanding. As a result we become disillusioned and less personable. This avatar (false image) becomes an idol. Preserving the image demands and receives more and more of our attention, more and more of our energy, more and more of our life. And we demand that others help preserve the image, making them accomplices in our identity crises. If others do not co-operate, then our internally -focused, self absorbed sense of entitlement causes us to spiral down into depression, bitterness and even more. For we become more embittered when we watch people interact with the avatar (because we are safely hidden behind it) all the while knowing in our heart that the people who like and enjoy the avatar don't really like and enjoy us. We maintain this pattern as we strive to preserve a situation we have created that brings us the opposite of what we should really be after because we are acting like a someone, or thing, contrary to what the divine maker intended for us--authentic vulnerability---a true lasting fellowship with no crutches of deceit. For any other result, ends in us being less real, less seen, less liked, less connected and we end up with so much less than what God really intends for us to want and need. "Facebook, Instagram, to me are prime examples of avatars". Not that these social networking sites are inherently bad, many times we just build up an inauthentic  image we don't like tarnished. But when we are rooted in Christ, the doing flows naturally from the being. Here's an example: a peach tree never thinks "Iv'e got to grow peaches, I've got to grow peaches!" It just grows peaches, because that is what a peach tree--is, so long as it is watered and properly pruned (In this case by the word of God). Our being "in christ" will naturally flow"with the doing (fruits of the holy spirit). 

   When we focus our attention on Christ and what He believes about us, that we are his "poima" according to the Greek, Paul's use of the word "workmanship" is actually  "masterpeice" or living breathing poem, created anew in Christ Jesus, so all those good things he originally planned for us could be our way of life. Not an identity that is inwardly focused on trivial things. Yet a living breathing authentic representation of Gods work. A masterpiece from the hand of the creator. There is inherent worth and honor in being His "poema" or poem. And responsibility as well. For being His "visible expression" means we need to prayerfully seek to have a solid hold on our inherent worth, and find it in Christ, based on what He has already done for us, not based on anything this world says about you to be true. Spoiler alert! its all a lie. God sent his most valuable possession to made a mockery of, spit beaten and staked to a tree all so you could understand how valuable you being made in Gods image really signifies. And its better, ohh far better and more inconceivable than anything you could possibly ever imagine and know. For just as the master artisian seeks to express His heart and mind through his work so the Creator seeks to express His heart and mind through you.

The Deception

    How many of you see reality as the end all-be-all of existence? As this realm, subject to sensory interpretation being the essence of all that is real? In my mind it is not, but a mere counterfeit copy of what was intended. Like taking a picture of the grand canyon with a poor quality flip-phone and attempting to prove how amazing that experience was to outsiders based on the image conveyed on that phone. There is something lacking. Something you cannot fully describe. The picture itself does not explain your feelings in that moment, the wind whisping through your hair, the colorful backdrop coupled with a fragrant scent lingering in the air. The wind whispering through the leafless trees.The feeling of awestruck inspiration, the splendor of the moment cannot fully be duplicated unless you were there.

This leads me to the deception..

    I was greatly moved the first time I watched the matrix as a child, the reason being the subliminal underlying truths it conveyed. As to the horrors of a world cleverly manipulated by machines, duping the prospects therein to believe reality was the matrix; while as the few enlightened ones, at much sacrifice to themselves were toiling with all their energy to uncover the thick spidery web and sordid underbelly of the worlds deceptions. There is a war going on all around us and thousands of souls are getting won or lost on the daily. You will frequently be engaged in conflicts that wage war against your soul. The point of being deceived is you do not know you are being deceived. We are all under the spell of a sinister puppet master. One whose power has been broken, but who nonetheless is a diabolical force to be reckoned with, his schemes contain nothing but the vilest of intentions. His aim is your perdition, an enemy of the soul. 

   We all at some point in our lives have those moments: glimpses of the divine, a glimpse of the grand canyon with a full moon at night, an experience of a beautiful sunset over an ocean shoreline while the waves lap in harmonious fashion in the distance, then the veil returns and we are back again to the mundane hum-drum of life. To fighting over whose toothbrush got used unceremoniously for cleaning a toilet and why there is still shaving cream left over in the sink the next morning. Sin shrouds what was once vividly apparent. For we all wear masks today, to conceal hidden underlying emotions, thoughts and ideas. Yet what if that mask was ripped off, and you were exposed, every thought becoming a reality, when thoughts become reality I picture that world as a dreamlike existence, your dreams are subject to the intrinsic whims of your imagination. So what is consciousness or reality for that matter but a stubbornly persistent illusion?  For we live as in a dream, when one is dreaming, many times he does not know it, but upon waking the world is far more real for it contains both the trance like dream estate of the mind and inhibitions that are genuinely associated with raw emotion. We tie our emotions and feelings to that which seems most real and beneficial, yet even those things we love most can turn against us and be used as a weapon if we perceive them passively, as rights to be had not gained. You've noticed how even the most pleasant odor can lead us to recoil if associated with a particularly unpleasant experience eg. rum mixed with anything for me.

   When God says something to us on paper, we get a flavor of His personality but it is merely a strong aroma, a wafting scent that dissipates as soon as our mind and focus gets shifted to the world. Like white letters on a white canvas you have to select the paper and fill it in with a color, preferably a dark contrast to the white to make it more clear. more clear to your tastes rather than His that is. Yet you will not find this just by staring at the white paper. That to me is likened to searching for the divine among the finite. What is divine is woven into what is finite like a glove a mesh net of strong substance for to me it is likened to air. For example if one were to break a bone like I have when I was riding a dirt-bike a few summers ago and was in a cast for some time, I was appalled by the condition of my arm and the stench after the cast was removed. Dead skin cells, opaque, white unhealthy looking skin, muscle loss, obscene and abnormal hair growth, this was all merely a reality of the removal, there is not an act of decision whither the arm does stink or not, it is merely a product of the circumstances. Cut off the oxygen supply and it will stink. This is similar to sin, many times it is not apparent, like casts covering up broken bones - (broken hearts, feelings, and consciousnesses) it may seem like all is well on the outside, but remove those cast and crutches and the stench will come out, the decay exposed, and only then the oxygen supply will be renewed and regeneration occur. This can only occur by the Divine working of the holy spirit in our very lives.

Myth Resonating with Fact

    "A believed idea feels different from from an idea that is not believed . And that peculiar flavor of the believed is never in my experience without a special sort of imaginative enjoyment" This struck me as unique, yet there is another sense of the meaning C.S. Lewis goes on to describe "On the contrary though, we spoil a mythology for imaginative purposes by believing in it. Fairies are popular in England because we don't think they exist. The contemplation of what we take to be real is always, I think with a certain level of aesthetic satisfaction-a sort which depends solely on its supposed reality. There is dignity and poignancy in the bare fact that a thing exists" -Lewis. This is why mythology and spiritualism in my mind is more popular than rigid Christianity. " It looks as if the confusion between imaginative enjoyment and intellectual assent, of which Christianity is accused, is not nearly as common as people suppose" For to me it resonates within the myth, that which was told became incarnate (Jesus) or fact. A living breathing organism, no longer not bound by the constraints of time, space and matter, but fused the divine with the mortal, to share our fleshly fate. I mean is this not what we all wish for? Is this not why Harry Potter, Star Wars and Disney to certain minds become so fulfilling, there is an enjoyment of that which is uncannily and strictly imaginative which pleasantly suits our imaginations. This kind of free range imagination without rules and limitations is what we all inherently long for. The undoing of a particualar "unpleasant" curse is the very idea we so nobly agree as heroism, (beauty kissing the beast), the beast tells the princess of his life before the curse, of his noble splendor before he was damned to his hairy fate. What motivated her in this movie? Was it nothing utter than compassion? Michaelangelo was once asked as he chiseled a small chink in each statue, why are you not focusing on just one whole statue at a time. "Because he said, I'm trying to set the angel free in each one" Like the grand artisian himself, God visualizes a perfect angel inside all the covered up layers of sin, pride and narcissism, the real you is a hidden internal beauty. Another example of heroism that has moved me is Gandalfs fall in the mines against the Balrog, and his subsequent return stronger than ever. Darkness cannot quench out light however it would like us to 

     Now Gandalf going down with the Balrog demands more attention let us take a closer more introspective look. Let us examine further some lines from the book: "The fire seemed to die but the darkness grew. It stepped forward slowly, and suddenly drew itself up to a great height, and its wings were spread from wall to wall; but still Gandalf could be seen, glimmering in the gloom; he seemed small, and altogether alone; grey and bent, like a wizened tree before the onset of a storm {Gandalf re-opens his eyes} "A balrog-a demon of the ancient world. This foe is beyond any of you....Run!" {the fellowship runs through a small doorway as Gandalf shepherds them through} "Gandalf!" Aragorn yells, "Lead them on Aragorn! the bridge is near! {They look across a wide space to a long bridge spanning the gap between a hall and a cliff face. Away behind them the Balrog roars again, as Aragorn moves toward Gandalf he is pushed roughly away, "Do as I say!" {hurt and confusion register on Aragorns face} "Swords are no more use here!" (Simon Peters ill fated use of a weapon and the putting back of an ear resonates here). Back to the story at hand however, {The Balrog rumbles again, foundations splinter and crumble, sending huge rocks tumbling to the depths, around a great pillar in a fiery hall comes Gandalf, leading the fellowship,a wall of flame whirls behind them} Gandalf: "Over the bridge, fly!" {The fellowship flees. Gandalf does not follow, but turns, looking into the wall of fire, a great form or black shadow leaps through the flames, its eyes of white fire, great ash-black horns curling around a bull-like head, it opens wide its mouth, rippling heat pouring out with a rumble, Gandalf turns, running after the fellowship. A great, black, cloven foot stomps down into the hall, bursting into flame. A narrow bridge of stone appears in the fiery light and the fellowship crosses the bridge. Gandalf turns to face the Balrog.} "You cannot pass!", "I am the servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of Anor! The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun!" {The Balrog strikes down on Gandalf, who parries the blow with his blade, shattering the Balrogs sword, glowing embers run off the circle of light around the wizard . The monster bellows at the wizard. Frodo gasps, Aragorn runs forward. {Gandalf clinching his teeth} "go back to the shadow!" {The Balrog leaps forth with a brandished flaming whip}. {Gandalf raises his sword and staff together in the air: "you-shall not-pass!" {driving his staff onto the bridge causing a bright flash of white light to appear, {flaring its nostrils wide, the Balrog steps onto the bridge causing the bridge to collapse from under it and breaks under the wizards staff, the Demon plunges backward into the chasm still wielding its glowing whip} Gandalf, now exhausted, leans on his staff, and watches the Balrog fall, he turns to follow the others. {The flaming whip lashes forth from the abyss binding his heels, dragging him over the edge}. (He shall bruise your heal and you shall crush his skull comes to mind in scripture). Gandalf now strains to keep his grip, Frodo rushes forward "Gandalf!" (The great wizard wide eyed grasped the bridge. He stops struggling "Fly you fools!" ( Gandalf lets go of the stone wall and falls into the chasm, spreading his arms, the light of the Balrog glimmering far below} Once again an allegory of Jesus arms spread wide to save) "death is swallowed up in lght and victory, oh death where is thy sting?" Jesus took that stand for us he is our white knight and savior, our ancient protector of old. Now the term white light interests me, it is something Jesus was clothed with and the more you understand paranormal events the more you appreciate this awesome power. 

     Alluding to these events I wanted to mention after Jesus died and was buried his spirit was taken from his body. So very little if any of the anointing would have permeated those clothes, and that was only possible if some of the anointing had remained in Jesus bones. Anointing could have come from Jesus bones, for Elisha's could have raised the dead (see 2 Kings 13:21) But Jesus body had risen, no bones about it. So only a residual amount of anointing was probable on the folded burial cloth ( what I believe to be the highly controversial shroud of turin). That is why it is the only  time His clothing is mentioned in scripture, when people did not clamor to touch it. In John 20 we read that both John and Peter looked at the strips but were not compelled to touch it because Jesus had risen. The spirit had left him. His spiritual clothing was taken-the Designer clothes had been taken from Jesus, the last Adam, just like the Designer clothes had been taken from the first Adam (1 Cor 15:45, Gen 3:7). Jesus when He was ministering on earth displayed another set of clothes that was revealed when "He was transfigured before them, His clothes became dazzling white, whiter than anyone in the world could bleach them" Perhaps the transfiguration was merely 'an opening' of the disciples eyes to see the reality that was there there all the time? Perhaps Jesus clothes were actually white light? The disciples spiritual eyes were opened and they saw the spiritual reality that had always been there but hidden from their natural eyes. Just like Gandalf leading the way through the dark mines is Jesus "The light of the world" leading us to another realm. The sacrifice was the "going down with the ship" the sinking with the wily devil into the abyss to clear the way for us. For as Peter mentions "We also have the prophetic message, as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts".

    Now there are countless other examples I could conjure up from the abyss of my memory but sleep lies heavy on me and my eyes grow bleary; one last analogy strikes me as pertinent however : Obi-Wan Kenobi's fall against Vader, in dramatic fashion the wise old Jedi accepted death as a gift to receive; that of an old friend returning to clothe him with power, thus being fused into a force like ether, no longer bound by limitations "strike me down and I will become more powerful than you ever could imagine". Many Pagan myths tell a redemptive story with several key aspects going awry. If you are a Christian you do not have to believe that all the other religions are simply wrong all through. If you are an atheist you do have to believe that the main point in all the religions of the whole world is simply one huge mistake. If you are a Christian, you are free to think that all those religions, even the queerest ones, contain at least some hint of the truth. When I was an atheist I had to try to persuade myself that most of the human race have always been wrong about the question that mattered to them most; when I became a Christian I was able to take a more liberal view. But, of course, being a Christian does mean thinking that where Christianity differs from other religions, Christianity is right and they are wrong. As in arithmetic—there is only one right answer to a sum, and all other answers are wrong; but some of the wrong answers are much nearer being right than others. "For when I became a Christian I was free to believe there was some truth in every religion but it was not the truth" -Lewis

Real love vs possessive love: (The duality of my nature)

     When we think of a word associated with a name, we think of a personality. The word itself has no connotation to the personality other than a law of correlation, when people say "Kyle" I respond to that name, what they may feel or think about Kyle is not expressed, but how they feel about Kyle can be understood by their body language and apprehension whenever I speak. They may feel Kyle is a pretty good fellow, a nice laugh,  cheerful demeanor, above average intelligence. All of these are assumptions one makes about me without my knowledge, unless I am digging knives out of my back or correcting mis-truths at a later point in time that "so and so" said about me because I acted shamefully or conducted myself horribly. Or they may say compliments which I rarely hear and would certainly enjoy the experience of hearing more often. But how does Kyle make you feel? This is the important thing, does Kyle always talk about himself, his fanciful achievements and make others feel worthless and unnecessary? Is he a "Me monster" This is something that I certainly hope is not the case. At the unconscious forefront of most peoples decisions they seem to like and think about things that directly involve them being in it. If I made you feel horrible, the assumption would be that Kyle s a heinous soul and detesting me would be easy. This perfectly describes the duality of our nature, by default you respond to a person based on how they make you feel.

                                             

   By this same logic it would seem reasonable people on the whole are more prone to like photos on facebook portraying shared expieriences with friends that have them in it. It is something direct and personal shared together that is being projected to the world. Now how does this apply with the emotion of love? Is it possessive? to the extent that to love somebody, or something more because you are directly involved in their lives. As long as we are in it and the thing is beautiful, non-offensive. But this is to miss out on the real essence of the thing itself; if love is an by nature ambivalent, and we see the duality of selfish and possessive vs liberating and freeing love today, many people would agree some emotions in this world are very bad, when one thinks of "love" how many of you think of it in a derogatory negative sense? Probably not many, it seems counter-intuitive to think of the greatest of affections in this manner but this is exactly what C.S, Lewis is getting at in his great classic tale "Till we have faces". In a way, selfish love in attempting to circumscribe the object of love is really more akin to envy, jealousy or even hatred than to love. Real love wants only the best for the beloved, while selfish love wants only the beloved for ourselves, to hoard rather than to diffuse. Selfish love refuses to admit that we imperfect creatures cannot be the center of someone else's universe. Orual sought all her life, only to say of her sister "This is all mine, and the gods cannot touch it" Disfigured and embittered, she hides her face, just as she hides her true identity, her true motives and emotions from everyone including her conscious self. Her hidden hatreds and ambitions and jealousies-these fester inside of her and prevent her from seeing reality as it really is. Until she admits-until she comes clean and lays bare her true identity, faults and all before the gods--they cannot speak to her face.

   Now I want to briefly discuss Narcissicm or (self love) in another light, it is subtle and sometimes awkward when exposed, something we become to some degree ashamed of, it is by nature exclusive. For example when one is caught preening and staring at themselves in a mirror by some casual observer, he/she may feel uneasy and flush a darker shade. Where as by nature when one is totally caught up in themselves, it makes a small incarceration. Actor Jack Nicholson was quoted to say "Fame is the biggest prison I build for myself". According to Harry Emerson who sheds some light on this subject of mirrors and self reflection  the to get hims day comes when one begins to get himself away; "he has lived let us say in a mind like a room surrounded by mirrors, every way he turned he saw himself. Now however, some of the mirrors change to windows, he can see through them to objective outlooks that challenge his interests. He begins to get outside himself no longer the prisoner of self-reflections but a free man in a work where persons, causes, truths and values exist, worthful in a real sense, thus to pass from a mirror mind to a mind with windows is an essential element in the development of a personality. Without that experience no one ever achieves a meaningful life."   

    This all ties into Christs death. How He could show us walking his way is liberating opposed to enslaving, without the defects of sin we would not be able to see this, it would seem only drudgery and robotic. Selfish in a sense of the objects affection being dependent on worship and service. Contrary to how the world sees it how could we want to be obedient w/o seeing it was freedom, not drudgery or obligation? This is love freed from obligatory need for ones happiness. Paul understood this principle of the weak being made strong, the first will be last and the last first, contrary to every principle of the world.The manifold wisdom of God is this way is mind boggling to me. St. Paul himself is quoted to have said "It is for FREEDOM that Christ set us free, why would you submit then again to a yolk of slavery" Gal 5:1

Something I oft forget yet consistently need to be reminded of is this:

"Christ is for us not against us"

DNA, Death and the Problem with Pain

    "Human life has always been lived on the edge of a precipice. Human culture has always had to exist under the shadow of something infinitely more important than itself" -C.S. Lewis

   I think it is important to see the present calamity in a true perspective. War and chaos create no new phenomenon. We are mistaken when we compare war with normal life. Life has never been normal as long as we are on this presence earth. Even those periods which we think most tranquil, like the 1960's and 70's upon closer examination turn out to be full of crises alarms and difficulties. Plausible reasons have never been lacking for these occurrences, how we could be so bigoted and hateful as to judge another on skin color and ethnic background, a "Holier that though" mentality permeates all the religious sentiment when it is based on nothing but stubborn opposition to loving everyone. The solution must be an internal one. As external causes seem to be the visible display of crooked internal realities. 

     Human mortality is something we all have to come to grips with. Eventually our organs fail, even with a healthy lifestyle and the best medicine, death is unavoidable. 100% of us die and that percentage cannot be increased. Our physical apparatus continues to deteriorate, human exertion or will does not add or diminish from this woeful reality. Pain, war and disease does something to us though. It forces us to remember it. According to C.S Lewis: present circumstances strongly dictate our focus on this reality. When death is eminent you are not thinking about things attached to this life as he remarks "Before I became a christian I do not think I fully realized that ones life after conversion, would inevitably consist in doing most of the same things one had been doing before, one hopes in a new spirit but still the same things. Before I went to the last war I certainly expected that my life in the trenches would, in some mysterious sense, be all war. In fact I found the nearer you got to the front line the less everyone thought and spoke of the allied cause and the progress of the campaign; neither conversation or enlistment in the army is really going to obliterate our human life.  The war will fail to absorb our whole attention because it is a finite object and therefore intrinsically unfitted to support the whole attention of a human soul. The infidels Idea of a religious life and the civilians idea of active service are fantastic. If you attempted in either case, to suspend your whole intellectual and aesthetic activity, you would only succeed in substituting a worse cultural choice for a better." 

   The point I am getting across is that we are in warfare right now. The cross and Jesus crucifixion was not a just a documented historical event of a prominent religious and rebellious rebel leader put down by Roman force, it is an ongoing spiritual reality that was made manifest in physical realm. It was a documented historical event that radically changed behavior traits and thought patterns of those most touched by it. A prime example lies in the transformation of a religious zealout, who due to his religious acumen was blinded in his passion for truth,  truth in Saul's mind was rooted only in temporal and physical realities. He failed to grasp the spiritual among the physical. He came to understand the work of the Lord as a living, breathing spiritual aura, guiding and changing hearts, replacing hopelessness with joy and saturating the faithful with peace, an ongoing renewal of endless passion that revitalizes and changes souls.

   Now for a closer examination on human development: the quantum of information in our human DNA strands, inside every single cell is roughly comparable to 12 sets of the encyclopedia Britannica - an astounding 384 volumes worth of detailed data. Yet their size is only 2 millionth of a millimeter thick, "a teaspoon of DNA has all the information to build the proteins for all the species of organisms that has ever lived on the earth". Now why does our physical appearance change so much between the ages of 40 and 70? Every year cells clone themselves into billions of copies to combat microscopic wear and tear from mental experiences of stress, anxiety and physical exertion on our bodies. Bone cells are still hard at work but osteoclasts destroy our bones faster than osteoblasts can rebuild it. This is all due to the cumulative process of defects within regeneration and erosion. So if we are using correct interpretation of science and logic intertwined; we are seeing the effects of a DNA strand which makes the software NASA uses to get a rocket to Mars look like primitive cave scribbles.....deteriorating, even language itself is getting weaker.... just like the very genetics in our bodies are declining..... the genetics which are coordinating every cell, every system, and every organ in your entire body. Why is it then that the very Oxygen you breathe becomes the very agent that accelerates your death? In layman's terms: anytime you have copies, upon copies of something..anything, for that matter the ensuing product is not as perfect as the original prototype. We are taught from childhood to notice that the perfect oak grows from the perfect acorn and to neglect that the acorn itself was dropped by the perfect oak. We love to notice the power of the "rocket" while failing to analyze the rocket itself springs not from some rudimentary engine but by the mastermind and genius of something more perfect and complicated than itself, namely formulaic thought, that lie far beyond the chemical impulses in the brain and reveal themselves rooted in deeper realities than the feeble understanding of human naturalism in depth and scope, thus emergent evolution reveals itself to be utter hallucination. 

     Our DNA makes us what we are and guides our development, but it also determines how long we live. Every time one of our cells copies itself it loses a tiny piece of the DNA. These divisions happen every second of our lives. After billions of cell divisions the end section is gone and our cells cannot divide any more. Over a lifetime our bodies make so many copies of cells that even the tiniest defects accumulate. It's like using a photocopier. Copies made from copies degrade in quality. We have totally re-placed the bone in our face every 10 years since we were born. Our 70 year old face is a seventh generation copy of our baby face. The imperfections are exaggerated with each copy. Another reason for aging is the very air that we breathe. We need oxygen to live but throughout our lives it slowly poisons us. Inside each of our cells our mitochondrea act like tiny power plants combing food with Oxygen to create energy; but  just like a power plant they also generate pollution, in this case the pollutant is oxygen. The mitochondrea change the molecules into unstable forms called free radicals, over a lifetime free radicals slowly suffocate the mitochondria and damage our cells; our cells and DNA become more and more damaged, repair systems fail, imperfections accumulate eventually our organs fail. Death like life, is a biological process. Scientists believe that near the moment of death our blood stream is flooded with endorphin's, the bodies natural pain killers, starved of oxygen, tissues cant function, within 10 seconds the brains electrical activity drops, hearing is the last sense to go, it can take 24 hours for our skin cells to stop dividing its final impulse.

    It seems to be built into our humanity to embrace this hope that after we die there is "something that goes on" Shakespeares "Hamlet" uttered the famous words "to be or not to be" as he's considering the alternatives of life and death and swinging between the two. He experiences conflicting feelings, whither to carry on in this world of pain and suffering or to end it and embrace the reality of "the unknown".  It seems life brings us more loss than success, more pain than gain and yet, in spite of all that: we fight tooth and nail to hang on 'despite the hardships' to life for just another 5 minutes. Whatever the pain that attends life, we desire to keep experiencing it. Because the other side is shrouded in mystique we've never experienced, we would rather bear the ills we have, than embrace the uncertainty of the unknown. He then says "Thus conscience doth make cowards of us all"  The dialogue of Plato includes the death scene of Socrates. The day he is appointed to drink the fatal hemlock. his students and friends are allowed to visit him one last time and they find him at perfect peace and rest, even of 'eager anticipation' being shocked at this they inquired and he says with all his knowledge gleaned from philosophical and scientific speculation it had yielded no other purpose than to further convince him this is indeed not his last day but the beginning of an eternal existence that is far better than what we experience here.

    "As the twisted body of  Christ hung on the cross it seemed to turn into a vast question mark against the sky line, and from his lips comes the cry 'My God, why?' It seems that all the anguish and pain of the ages is gathered up in that bitter cry. There is not a single problem that perplexes and wrings our heart that is not gathered up in that anguished question" E. Stanley Jones

The fall of Lucifer, our present estate and the rescue mission for all mankind.

     As you know, I have made a vow never to give you information that could potentially alter your destiny. Your path is yours to walk. That being said, Lucifer is the most dangerous adversary the Trinity ever faced. He is brilliant, ruthless, and he will not hesitate to kill every single one of you.....

    Did you defeat him?

    At great cost, yes

     How?

    My only sons life. After Lucifer deceived everything and everyone I held most dear, He boldly entered into My presence, seething "My loving king, if you judge me for my crimes, my insubordination how then do you allow mankind to get away with this gross act of highest treason?, they all like me have turned away and despised you" He was right. No general act of amnesty could pardon the guilty. Punishing an angel although pure in nature would not display the full depth of love. Angels are more ancient and majestic in creation than man, therefore in the order of creation man has been made a little lower than angels yet an angel could not be representative of the Godhead who by definition is "Love". The very position of one Lucifer avowed to have would have to take the sword, the one who had none no wrong, would have to be the propitiation for all wrongs. If I did not plunge the sword into My dearly beloved son then My nature of deep compassion could never be fully understood: A decree was sent out: The second person of the immortal trinity My own blessed son would become incarnate, lighting the form of a earthly vessel -finite, bound to created time and space-limited in sight and physical ability.  His manifestation of all consuming glory power and infinite might, that which was worshiped and adored by myriads of angels, would need be forsook and abandoned all in order to rescue humanity from its self-imposed desperate plight. This wonderful blending of deity and humanity would stoop down among the devil possessed, emptied of all powers in order to experience their deepest afflictions and physical agonies. Bound to its fate and curse, to its biological degradation, he would carry the sins of the whole world, be crushed, afflicted, despised and punished. Such an act would cause the greatest stir of compassion within His being but such a refusal in acceptance of this act also stir the greatest offense against that compassion bearer. At the moment before the incarnation--all of hells darkness was shoving back shouting "no, no we don't want that, we don't want him!" They did everything conceivable to resist it. Yet I dropped him anyway right into a world of blackness and despair. 

     Calvary was Lucifer's Waterloo, he was aghast a tender compassion could stoop so low, yet it was only then he realized he never could be all powerful because he lacked all semblance of humility. The one thing he overlooked was grace. Grace was not granted to him or his angles; it was a foreign concept to the son of perdition. We see his character traits on display today throughout the world today: greed, malice, envy, power. It all started so innocent, just a snake and a woman in a garden. A question? Why not? a manipulative pitch, a cunning lie, single indulgence, a bite: desire and curiosity overcame rationality; My spirit departed mankind, the genetic code was altered, poison now entered the bloodstream, perfection, now tainted, preceded this pandemic pratfall, perpetuating throughout the genetic line of all mankind. Millions of lives and souls thrown into bondage, thinking themselves free, masters of their own destiny, they are in fact following the wiles of Lucifer himself, bound to his curse, indeed one cannot serve two masters, there can be no neutrality in the matter of a relationship to God, if we are not for him we are against him. Evil is a mere absence of light and God is light. Through opposition to God, Lucifer brought a curse upon himself. I never cursed mankind yet by pride alone it renders a curse, Lucifer became the sworn enemy of humility, thus by mans pride alone it renders him a friend of the devil; the heartache, pain, misery cannot be measured by such an ill fated choice. Listen, My pity for Lucifer remains, ye he folded and went all in to a poker game on a cosmic playing field with eternal consequences at stake, gambled against all he knew and once loved, yes, even Lucifer once loved me with a  holy love, until power and greed corrupted, and all he once held dear was was lost along with his paradise. Being the creator of all the hosts of heaven, it was never my original intent to create a Devil, Lucifer was a unique and beautiful creation, who being lifted up by reason of his superlative beauty and brightness, renounced his allegiance to the most high and by a free act cut himself off from fellowship with the blessed trinity, thus changed his very nature--from lightbearer of divine glory to an adversary and thus a Devil. Indeed, nothing becomes less like God than the very one who aspires to be God. My, but of course Lucifer's  best trick is convincing men he does not exist. Yet many should realize If this lie held clout, there must be someone to carry on his devilish work which was never so evident as in the world today. Man does not know the breathless heights of perfection from which Lucifer fell, we only know that he carried such perfection with him into darkness. Like our own freedom his freedom was reverently respected by the action of the Godhead. Because the gates of heaven were thrown open to his efforts, it became possible for him to go to hell. Because he could win, he could also lose, In this supreme test the Devil did not only desire to win heaven but to ascend and be like the most high, thus he freely and deliberately turned his back on it, now haunting the halls of hell because he so chose.  

 "Satan; so call him now, his former name 

  Is heard no more in heaven; he of the first

  If not the first Archangel, great in power

  In favour and pre-eminence, yet fraught

  With envy against the Son of God, that day 

  Honored and by His great Father and proclaimed

  Messiah, king anointed, he could not bear

  Though pride that sight and thought himself impaired

  He resolved 

  With all his legions to dislodge and leave

  Unworshipped, unobeyed, the Throne Supreme

  Contempuous!" -Paradise Lost

    Being thrown down into the second heaven, he found his way into the garden, inhabited a serpent through cursed methods and wrongful usurpation.  Through his angelic nature and agelessness he was himself immune to pain, to injury, to sickness to death, even immune to the human discomfort of being crowded, like a phantom he has no body there are in him no parts to be dismembered, no possibilities of corruption or decay, immune to the limitations of flesh. He knows only the Most High could destroy him and alas I will not! not now, he is on borrowed existence, a fate awaits him! Indeed no one becomes less like the Trinity than the one who desires to be the Trinity, to be blessed and partakers is holy ambition, to exchange and propitiate position by means of power is an egregious act. One that caused the composition of the Trinity to be forever altered, what form the son of man took before He decided to become human will forever be made confidential until into the Trinity's presence they become fully known. These immortals whence became mortal when their eyes became averted from me, soul and spirit separated from body, nakedness was now a shame where once it was a glory, every pleasurable desire whence once was good, sex, wine, love now becoming restrained no longer, due to the insertion of the virus it could not abound in moderation. Who can know their wickedness now. It is like a damn pent up, if released, these super desires would be uncontrollable, if not for the restraining power of the Holy spirit now permeating the earth. The spiritual force which first came by water in the flood, then by water and spirit at My sons baptism now restrains by spirit. 

     Our humanity is the garment My son wears in heaven, while pining away on earth never once was the presence and power of Lucifer's hoards doubted. My beloved son, He was there, with me at Lucifers great rebellion,  when the heavenlies were shaken, familiar with his fall, being present in the dateless past. Some labeled him "the great exorcist" and his very presence terrified the devils hoards, at whose command they were compelled to leave their tortured victims.  They trembled before him, yet did not love him, they incited others still to deny him. They are the real workers behind the humans idols, which are by themselves a mere nothing. Ever since their deposition by that divine decree they have been anti-God in all their activities, even now that doubt lingers not as they work against me. having once dwelt in heavenly presence they have no doubt as to my sons being and sovereignty. Dreadful punishment awaits these angels transformed into evil malignant spirits and demons. At the moment of the choice, when they became what they are now, they were once prime and golden pieces of creation, not laden with gross matter, yet they lie under the ruins of their fall, angels tumbled down from heaven and Divine goodness could not vouch to catch them, yet now because of My sons work, when man tumbles and looks up divine goodness holds out a hand to lift him up, mankind by my grace is made for another world, the efficacious blood of my son avails for those of human blood which angels have not, he was not incarnated into their likeness the sacrifice was only made for sinners lost and ruined by the fall, he did not come to convert fallen angels, , but to destroy their empire.  

    The second member of the trinity is here interceding for their much maligned souls daily, with nail scarred hands and pierced side rending his battle scars of victory on full everlasting display. Through his grace and selfless sacrifice all who now believe in him take in essence are partakers of Our very divine nature. For stooping lower than angels at the moment of incarnation, it now allows those accepting of him to be brought to a glory even greater than the angels. His work in saving sinners, defeating the devil and abolishing sin gives rise to a new revenue of glory for the Trinity. Thus by praising the Trinity like celestial hosts who leaving their station before the throne of God at the moment of His birth and speeding downwards from star to star hovered over the stable in fixed adoration of their king of glory, who dwells in the everlasting light, now divinely abiding within helpless babe. The host was in anticipation of the triumphs he was about to win, men saved, death destroyed, the devil vanquished, creation redeemed gave vent to an overflowing effluent praise "Glory to God in the highest".

       "Human life has always been lived on the edge of a precipice. Human culture has always had to exist under the shadow of something infinitely more important than itself" -C.S. Lewis

The Real Problem With Religion Today..

     As humans we all play a unique part in our diverse world today, yet a fact that seems easily misunderstood is healthy teaching about our spiritual beings. We are all the ghosts in the machine, entrapped under thick layers of deceptive lies wherein our real identity is hidden. Yet underneath this highly sophisticated physical apparatus is a concealed intelligence which defies the comprehension of our minds. For those of you who disagree with me, contemplate eating a hamburger, after you finish you feel nourished and well supplied, but have you any idea how your stomach is currently breaking this down into your blood stream and providing vital strength to you muscles and sinews through the complex process of digestion? You can take classes on it, garner a bachelors in health economics, even a phD as a neurosurgeon and you still aren't even close to understanding the complexity of the chemical reactions and bodily processes within us.  Nothing in our universe is as simple as it appears. Perpetual motion is everywhere and many of us lack even a crude understanding how complex motion is. 

     Now here is a question that interests me? Why do surgeons remove ribs for bone marrow transplants and genetic research! Why ribs? Because they are the only bones in the human body that grows back every time they are carefully removed. This reality alone should make us question some deeper truths, like the fact God explains women were formed from a mans rib. Or that 99.99% of the matter around us is empty space, is the .01% of spinning particles not also part of the illusions as well? In layman's terms: "What is unseen is more real than what is seen". We first need to understand we are spiritual beings in order to ascertain a deeper meaning to the physical world around us. 

     When anyone talks about sin and addictions, and raises any questions about or suggests refinements of, disease orientated perspectives, people head for the exits. Some people leave because the very mention of sin is evidence that the speaker doesn't get it, they get angry that anyone add spiritual condemnation to the self-loathing an addict already experiences. In a cultural where self-esteem and high views of self-worth are considered psychological essentials talking about sin seems an attack on mental well being. It conjures up an image of dour puritans and preachers screaming damnation upon those who don't repent. However this is the very core of the problem; the refusal of Christians to see religion as the biggest scam in the history of the world. A personal relationship with Christ and recognition of our woeful inadequacy in every regard is what saves us. The moment we see people through spiritual eyes we begin to see the defects, the facade's, moral fronts, and concealed lies interwoven underneath. We've all heard of the prodigal son story, the younger son goes off squanders his fathers inheritance and indulges fully in the salacious lusts of his true desires. At first he had many friends, yet all were attached to the money and the prosperity: flowing booze, sexy girls, one night stands, best quality dope money can buy, luxury hotels, sleazy nightclubs, seedy underworlds, secret pastimes-giggles, flirts, feels, seductive leather outfits, lap dances and drug induced chatter with nameless ladies slithering around this way and that. Life can easily become a real freak show if you let it. Eyes had adjusted to constant spinning and spiraling of lights that all danced to beats; body and mind had adjusted to accept the effects of intense psychedelic drugs as the normal state of things. The spinning lights that danced to beats from a dozen different DJ booths, he finds all life is a trade, once his fortune was gone and his friends abandon him, he finds himself wrestling a pig for a corn cob coated in mud, and perhaps right then he wondered if we're all just whores in the end? But this realization alone is what brings him to a deeper realization of his depravity. As many people who read this story and then think "this is the condition of us all without God's love" will miss the bigger picture. It is my firm belief that this story speaks more to the sin of the elder brother than the younger one: self-righteous and judgmental yet by a worlds standards morally pure, his arrogance restricts his ability to see his own need for a saving figure and many Christians today fall into this trend of being the elder-brother.Rather than being genuinely interested in people for their friendship they become spiritual head-hunters. The harshest words Jesus spoke were to the religious pharisee's,  living a ethical code of moral purity to God is like "straining out the gnat and swallowing a camel". If like the older brother, you seek to control God through your works then your morality, then that is just a way to make God give you the things you really want, which are very rarely the things you really need or He really wants! A horizontal approach to things around around you destroys the vertical necessity. It is when you see the desire to be your own "savior" through your deeds--lying beneath layers of moral goodness that you are on very dangerous ground. Ground that Mormonism is founded on, this is not a laughing matter                       either, millions are deceived around the globe today by this moralistic lifestyle. 

According to CH Spurgeon: "Many of the enemies of the cross of Christ have been so trained in godliness that we find it hard to believe that they can indeed be so vile;  let no man, therefore, arise and shake himself, as though no sins could ever bind him, because he feels himself to be a very Samson through his connections and surroundings. Yes, it may be that you shall fall—fall foully, fall desperately, unless the grace of God be in you—fall so as never to come Christ, and find eternal life. It was so with angels. The best natural thing that creation can work is not sufficient to preserve the fickle creature from sin: regeneration must come in—the work of the Holy Ghost, a creature may be perfect, and yet sin will reach and destroy him. You and I are far from perfect. We are not angels unfallen: we are not angels at all; but we have evil hearts within us; therefore let us not imagine for a moment that the most select position can screen us from the worst of sin. Angels are beings of remarkable power. We know that they have amazing intelligence and beauty. We read of one whose face was like that of an angel of God. When a thing is spoken of as being exceedingly good, it is often connected with angels: "men did eat angels' food." It is supposed that everything with regard to them is of of refined quality. I suppose that a spirit not cumbered with flesh and blood, as we are, must be delivered from much that hampers and beclouds. Oftentimes a clear judgment is dimmed by a headache, or an attack of indigestion. Anything that affects the body drags down the mind; but these angelic beings are delivered from such weakness, and they are clothed with a glory of strength, and beauty, and power. Hear then and observe! However great Lucifer was, yet he degenerated into Satan: the Son of the Morning became Apollyon the Destroyer. However excellent the fallen angels may once have been, they have now become potent only for mischief; their wisdom has curdled into cunning, and their strength has soured into a vicious force; Let no man say: "no not I, I will never become this or that" you know not what you may become. There is also a great difference between position and person, Ah me! we need not marvel; for if angels fall, what man may think that he can stand? The grace of God can keep the least and weakest of us; but apart from that heavenly power how dare any man hope to be preserved to the end? Self-confidence is the beginning of declension.. We must never presume. Angels fell: why should not men? An angel occupies a high position near the throne of God: We have evidence in Scripture that they are called on grand occasions to discharge high commissions for the King of kings. And yet these household messengers of the palace of heaven, these domestics of glory, even these went astray, and fell, and turned to devils. Let no man dream that because he occupies an office in the church or does such and such a deed, his salvation is therefore secure: an apostle fell. The arrows of the prince of darkness can reach the highest seats of the synagogue. The high places of the field of service are not free from danger; nay, they are the more perilous as they are the more notable. The powers of darkness make their direst onset upon the foremost soldiers of the cross, hoping to overthrow the standard-bearers, and create confusion throughout the camp. Apart from the perpetual miracle of God's grace, nothing can keep us from declension, apostacy, and spiritual death. "Oh, but I spend my time," one may say—"I spend my time wholly in the service of God! I go from door to door seeking the lost souls of men, as a city missionary"; or "I conduct a large class in the school, and I have brought many to the Savior." All this is good; but if we trust in it for standing before God it will certainly fail thee. If any one of us were to say, "But I am a preacher, called to offer prayer, and to share the precious word: my engagements are so sanctified, they bring me into such hallowed fellowship with holy things, that it is not possible that I should fall,"—this would be the height of folly. We need not go beyond the pale of professed ministers of Christ to find specimens of every infamy of which man is capable. After having preached to others there is grave cause for trembling lest we be castaways ourselves. No, there is nothing in the most sacred office in the church to preserve us or our characters."

   When Jesus performed his miracles he used terms that baffled and confused the general masses following him. He would say things like "your sins are forgiven" which shows a deeper rooted problem than the physical. "In stark contrast to Western rationalism and naturalism other inhabitants of the world have a different view of reality. The reality of the spiritual world is part of their culture and worldview. Animistic and spiritistic cultures appease their gods with peace offerings and perform religious rituals to ward off evil spirits. In many third-world nations, religious practice or superstition has more practical relevance in daily life than science does. It is easy for those who are educated in the West to dismiss Eastern worldviews as inferior on the basis of our advanced technology and economic success. But why then do we have the highest crime rate of any industrial nation and greatest distribution of pornography worldwide?" -NA. Between two tiers (Transcendent world of God/gods and spiritual forces) - aka Eastern world view and (empirical world of the senses): a Western worldview. There is an excluded middle between the two. Yet we must include the "kingdom of darkness" in our worldview because in reality their is no excluded middle! When Paul referred to spiritual battles in the heavenlies, he was not referring to distant places or realms yet to the kingdom of darkness that is all around us and working in the sub-consious of believers and un-beleivers minds. He urges us to "hold every thought captive" now why would he say this other than our thoughts alone can lead us astray? Unlike third world countries which demonstrate overt ritualistic behaviors and occult practices which are demonic in origin, here in Western culture the term idols has a more esoteric nature.  It is not found in belief systems rooted in "rationality" because sin is not rational. It doesn't make sense! It doesnt look into the future. It doesnt consider consequences expecially if they are immediate. All it knows is I WANT-I WANT MORE!. This is how a father can leave his family for a stripper without giving thought to the psychological and emotional devastation it wreaks on his family. Reason is useless. We cannot simply say "stop doing drugs, get control of yourself" As a result of spiritual oppression, drug users may be very intelligent yet oblivious to the destruction and slavery associated with the use. 

  Here is the truth. Using the perspective of idolatry, addicts are "blinded" by their "own" desire. They refuse to see themselves as dependent creatures on God and instead find their "self" dependency on something else which further enslaves and blinds them to the end result. They perform addictive, repetitive rituals of "using" that give them perceived power, pleasure and identity, they see in their addiction a release from the physical and in a way the behavior itself as a form of magic. Yet any identity power or peace these behaviors bring are temporary, due to their primary motives being spiritual. The result is deception and further spiritual blindness. For the addict dope is God. It is the supreme being. the higher power, in the junkies life. He is subjugated to its will, in effect it short wires the brain, temporarily shuts down the frontal lobe controlling such qualities as inhibition and judgement, and gives one a release from those very behaviors which he himself sees as enslavement!. The point of deception is one doesn't know they're deceived! In the end the user cannot find joy in the simple things in life, like romance, sex and comfort outside of the drug which is now deceiving and controlling the body to believe the drug itself is good. This is similar to a numbing effect and is rooted ina desire to escape reality. It is not strictly limited to hard drugs, like heroine and shrooms. Marijuana in effect cauterizes the nerve endings, coating them and inhibiting there  ability to function. I am not condemning marijuana users, merely giving a perspective. Each shot of junk a user shoots in his veins is a "shot" of divine love, and makes one feel resplendent with altered emotions. For some smoking marijuana is of consequence, now I am not saying marijuna smokers are sinning, what I am saying is to test the motives of why anyone smokes? Is it a release from the stress of relationships and the world around? Without knowing it we may be deceived by realizing we are unwittingly "bowing" to another "god" or sub-conscious idol, not made of brass or wood. Although one may worship God they may also be worshipping other "gods" (opinions of others), and peers. Wanting surrounding spectators to think "I'm cool" and accepted may be reasons that are faulty. Being proud others know one is a "stoner" may be an "idol". Of course the goal was not to worship marijuana it was to use it for our own purposes and gradually begins to represent an idol of "worship". One will begin to think about it, plan how to get it, and even avoid friends in order to perform (occultic) rituals; in this environment - smoking marijuana, and before one knows it when a substance becomes a "need" rather than a "desire" to that he/she is enslaved. This is a new radical approach to religion but religion is not the truth. The truth is within our very hearts and motives! The idolatrous heart wants more because the physical desire is unsatisfied and the cravings become uncontrollable as proper reasoning begins to be dismissed. The heart always desires just one more! And the body is briefly satisfied. That's all for now have a good night everyone :)