Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Life After Death



   It seems to be built into our humanity to embrace this hope that after we die there is "something that goes on" Shakespeares "Hamlet" uttered the famous words "to be or not to be" as he's considering the alternatives of life and death and swinging between the two. He experiences conflicting feelings, whither to carry on in this world of pain and suffering or to end it and embrace the reality of "the unknown".  It seems life brings us more loss than success, more pain than gain and yet, in spite of all that: we fight tooth and nail to hang on 'despite the hardships' to life for just another 5 minutes. Whatever the pain that attends life, we desire to keep experiencing it. Because the other side is shrouded in mystique
we've never experienced, we would rather bear the ills we have, than embrace the uncertainty of the unknown. He then says "Thus conscience doth make cowards of us all"  The dialogue of Plato includes the death scene of Socrates. The day he is appointed to drink the fatal hemlock. his students and friends are allowed to visit him one last time and they find him at perfect peace and rest, even of 'eager anticipation' being shocked at this they inquired and he says with all his knowledge gleaned from philosophical and scientific speculation it had yielded no other purpose than to further convince him this is indeed not his last day but the beginning of an eternal existence that is far better than what we experience here.

   A hundred years from now, where am I going to be. If a man dies will he live again? The human race is preoccupied with the idea. Either through horoscope reading, superstition or fortune telling. Throughout America are signs of the 'symbol of the hand' where madam "so and so" will offer 'for a fee' to read your  future. Have you ever noticed these always seem be found in run-down sections of the neighborhood where dilapidated homes are? It seems this 'oracle' should be right around the stock market. In every culture there is some sense of expectancy of life after death whither its the "Norse Valhalla or the "Indian happy hunting ground"

   Yet if this life is all there is. Then life is pointless, insignificant. YOLO, the new slang motto used to justify us doing whatever we want, when we want, makes perfect sense. Yet we were created eternal beings. Unlike animals, who don't experience our range of emotions; given you do not witness them pondering with awe the beauty of a sunset because they are driven strictly by natural instinct. The desires of emotion reason, imagination and to behold beauty were inherently ingrained at birth into our inner being. And that being (soul) yet shrouded and repressed by sinful nature, is always longing for a better, more peaceful existence. Yet we are incapable of controlling "how long we exist" The things you think would be your heaven if you had and the most happy, is a hell instead, because after a hundred years of however long we indulge in that pleasure we'd get bored, the luster would wear off and we'd desire something greater...eternal. Blaise Pascal, the French philosopher once said "Of all the creatures on this planet. Man is at the same time the creature of the highest grandeur and the creature of the lowest misery"  

    There are means to help analyze the complexities of our being, by observing the components of our biological bodies; you can break things down to that of a cell, then particles, protons and electrons and find what those are comprised of "matter". Yet when we get all the way down to the smallest construct, that which all material substance is comprised of at its most inner core, the atom; we find we cannot understand the force that is holding this atom together. The only  safe observation would be it is an eternal force.    The first Law of Thermodynamics which states "the total amount of energy and matter in the universe remains constant" thus, it is safe to reason it simply "exists". If the amount of "matter' is not observed to fluctuate, the parallel would be made that it is not possible to accrue something from nothing. The double helix structure of the DNA strand, and all its complexities (essentially the code describing who we are) was found that the possibility of this strand alone formed by random occurrence was 1x10^17 degree.  Einstein once said "The human mind is not capable of grasping the Universe. We are like a little child entering a huge library. The walls are covered to the ceilings with books in many different tongues. The child knows that someone must have written these books. It does not know who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are written. But the child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of the books - a mysterious order which it does not comprehend, but only dimly suspects." Skeptics point to the stars millions of light years out; that it would take that same amount of time (millions of years for their light to reach earth. Yet it says He "stretched out the expanse of the heavens". meaning all mass occupied one spot and was stretched out billions of light years by the almighty hand of God.

   NASA is powered by the ongoing goal of seeking the extraterrestrial. Yet as Louie Giglio once said "If the universe was here for the sole purpose of housing humanity it is vastly oversized  yet if its purpose was solely to display the glory of the almighty creator, then it is just about the right size." Distances in our universe are quantified by light year, .  because the universe is so vast a mile would seem less than a pinprick.  "no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”. It means if God was to attempt to describe our new heavenly existence "in him" it would blow our finite minds to comprehend. We quantity the vastness of the Universe by the fastest speed we possibly know of (light) 186,000 miles a second multiplied by 31,000,000 seconds (a year) then use that increment multiplied 3 million times to reach our nearest galaxy and you begin to realize just how small we are and how incapable our finite minds are in understanding how big God is. If our universe is so big we can hardly quantify it in our vernacular. How much greater and more expansive is heaven going to be. Jesus said "I go to prepare a place for you" and if our sin fallen universe is still filled with Gods fingerprint, how advanced is our understanding going to be when we shed our earthly bodies and receive our eternal ones? We see dimly through the constraints of time and space now. Yet the Bible also says "

    For those still skeptical of regarding the Bible as the infallible God spoken word and thus the absolute truth. It demands of a high degree of faith in things unseen. If you were asked the question do you believe in protons, electrons and the atom? I think allot of us would say yes, of course. When asked if you could see them, "then no, that's ludicrous, their microscopic, of course not". Then, if you haven't seen them why believe in their existence? The natural response would be "scientists have though". Thus taking the eyewitness account of something you yourself, cannot see, as infallible truth. Yet if we believe in the existence of a microscopic world, why is it for some people then, more difficult to believe the eyewitness accounts of the apostles on Jesus existence and works.. That have survived over 2,000 years of relentless persecution and strong desire for obliteration. And Who also is unseen yet exists and right now is at work among us.


Saturday, March 23, 2013

Redwoods/Oregon Coast Storm.My last trek



   After the debacle in San Fran. I was plodding along through Pt. Reyes State Park; while unsuccessfully looking for Ocean viewpoints, I lost my GPS signal and track of time, and was soon enveloped in utter black of night. The darkness and tree cover was ominous. I was glad to have fuel and making headway through. I slept that night outside a flower nursery. The next morning I found the main road, hugging the coastline. About 30 miles south of the Redwoods my car sputtered, my fuel gauge was broke and always read empty, this was bound to happen sometime. I had been winging it, fueling up whenever  it felt necessary. Luckily I had an extra gallon in my trunk for this very purpose.



   Upon entering the Redwoods there were no signs directing me to points of interest and I would have drove through and missed the whole 'she-bang' if not for a advertisement 'Trees of mystery, skylift' next right, I turned right and parked next to a museum with an 80 foot John Bunyan and massive blue ox infrastructure. It was pouring rain as I got out and as I was trudging through the pathways I saw various signs pointing out the significance of the trees: like 'the upside down tree that grew sideways, or 'nursery trees that contained limbs  new tree's were growing right out of; the 'Cathedral tree (a semicircle of redwoods growing next to ea. other) had a pulpit nearby and every year people got married. The skylift I went on was amazing. It was remarkable to me how high we were on the lift and how the redwoods were right next to you some odd 220 feet in the air. Unfortunately it was foggy that day and the viewing at the top was obscured.


     Upon leaving the Redwoods I hit US 1 up the Northern Cal coastline, rocky outcroppings cut away from the surf promenaded the scenic coastline. It was nightfall by the time I reached the Oregon border. I parked the car along side an overlook to catch a few hours of sleep. After grabbing coffee the next morning (the minit mart kind) but I took what I could. Any caffeine was better than none. The road ran basically right along high coastal cliffs. I drove the car right up to the cliff line got out and stumbled on a spectacular display. the sunrise was rising over the pacific ocean and I was soaking in its splendor; this moment is still embedded in my memory; coffee in hand, morning dew, crisp cold ocean air and the splendor of being bathed in the morning light. It another of those 'thin' moments where you feel a shrinking sense of the divine. I remember thinking how unclear my future was, yet being at perfect peace with it that morning. Upon leaving I heard the weather report from a newspaper: Winter Storms warning reported along the Oregon Coast, accumulations 2-5 inches, 10-15 higher elevations. Well I thought- Looks liek Crater Lake is off the trip. The ORT site said, only travel in emergencys, with food and water in your vehicle. Water, check, food, running low. Let's roll :)

     Well good thing I had all this experiance driving in snow. Upon dropping down from a potentially hazardous road, many cars were stranded on the roadside. Above 1000 feet, it was snowing pretty intensely, the storm was producing gusty winds combined with hail along the coast. I dropped down again and crawled along, hugging the coastline to avoid the serious snowfall. The hail and wind  beat against my car as well as the crash of the surf a few feet away. It was vaguely unsettling. Nearing Coos bay, the snow really started to fall. It was falling so thickly I couldn't see anything my wipers were in full roar and visibility completely obscured. I popped the window down and stuck my head out just to catch a glimpse of where I was on the road and that my destination wasn't  some dark abyss to the ocean. I welcomed the sight of cars up ahead cause I could make out where the road was. After a painful hour or so of slow going I reached  Coos Bay. and just as I hit the first stop, through the first intersection my car croaked and died. I wasn't sure why this time. I was flummoxed. I got out amid honks and F-bombs hurled in my direction and attempted to push. One of the most humiliating experiences of my life to this day. Luckily I knew nobody around. It was at this moment of desperation and despair a firetuck came along and opted to help push it off the road. It was definitely a God thing, nobody else was offering to help. I got out and then ran to the nearby Safeway asking random people in the checkout line for a jump. Soebody eventually agreed. On the way over to the motel 6 my windshield wipers were losing power and not working. I re-inserted my head out the window as I would not see again, and pulled into the motel 6. The first thing I did was find the hot tub after that long  exciting day. I figured I'd worry about the car in the morn.


    My perils were seemingly  innumerable: Car broke down 3 times in last 2 days. Overheated twice, ran outta gas, coasted into town tonight. I was on a losing streak that was quite remarkable I reasoned as I sat in the hot tub. The next morn I called the tripe A mechanic and he diagnosed a dead alternantor. Just another few hundred bucks to fix though. No problem. My funds were running low and that was about all I had. While waiting for it to be fixed I popped into an eatery for French Toast, scrambled eggs, and a slab of fried chicken slathered in sausage gravy. I devoured this like a ravenous Wolf. However while eating I saw a Washington license plate for the first time in over 5 weeks, made me smile. I left later that morning and made slow going up the coast with frequent interruptions for viewpoints and parks. The coast was incredible due to the light snow cover over parts of the rocks, even writing about it now, I am recalling the scenery and find a strong desire to return. I was evidently to slow because dusk had already fallen and I was still about 30 miles south of Lincoln city. Upon seeing the first motel I swerved into what I thought was the entrance, yet badly miscalculated and found myself flying over a small cliff; with a sickening ca-shink-a-link that was the rear of my trunk getting smashed by the hillside I rolled down over a grassy lawn. I found myself swerving around oncoming flower beds while heading for the parking lot. Upon finding the lot I was looking for a sloping ramp so i wouldn't go over another curb. I eventually floored it right over and landed squarely on the ground as soon as I parked and got out I saw a family of people looking at me with jaws slightly ajar in amazement at my maneuvering, with a deft nod of my head I calmly uttered a "hows it going folks" and casually strolled in.

   The hotel rates were astronomical and I decided to find a cheaper venue, apparently there was a festival that weekend and it was a horrible time. I was a sojourner looking for shelter and the motels were booked full of people on recreational visit. It was unfortunate, however about an hour up the road I found a place and enjoyed a good hot shower. THe next morning I loaded up my luggage, and went to Molalla to Visit my Uncle Scott, aunt Annette and cousins, It was good to be back in familar parts again after my wide loop, from Pennsylvania to South Carolina to L.A. and now at last home. I came back home and my loving and always supporting family welcomed me back with open arms slaying the metaphorical "fatted calf" and listening to my many tails. Yet the months following this trip proved arduous and hard, I worked temporary factory work, stacking pots just ot scrape some extra cash, then in the summer landscaping and manual labor jobs. I have never since, been able to be financially set and the journey has come with many blows both to my ego and sense of self worth, but I know God was behind it all and as the apostle Paul once said "When I am weak God is strong" I have learned allot from my many travels and I feel God has blessed me beyond that which I deserve. 







  
  

   


  

   


   




Thursday, March 21, 2013

Adventures in San Francisco




   On the morning of the 11th of February 2011 I awoke somewhere outside of Oakland. I elected to spend the night outside of Oakland for obvious reasons. My first move was always to find a coffee shop. I was a fervent believer in quality coffee, I wouldn't like to be caught with something as pedestrian as Folgers in my cup. Instead of fine wine. I was more  a 'coffee' connoisseur. Needless to say the 'Cafe Strada' impressed me. I recall the  rich heavenly aroma that arrested my senses, the walls seemed to be belching fumes of java. I used to put down ungodly amounts of coffee. I should have just hooked my arm to an IV and do away with the hassle of having to pick up a mug. However as of late I've been attempting to wean myself off the heavy doses of coffee and pursue a less caffeinated lifestyle mainly for the safety of my liver but for other reasons as well.


   Berkely appeared to be to be a very unique destination. The layout of the town was  similar to that of a giant strip mall, not the run down with outlet stores type, yet an antiquated and appealing one. With  much culture, ethnic diversity and class. It was a perfect college town with international appeal. I met up with my cousin Brent who was touring the campus as a potential destination for Grad school. My cousin is a mathematical genius and lives and breathes in mathematical formulas and equations, so needless to say they wanted him. After His meeting with the University's faculty we then got in my car and sped out of the city limits to a park overlooking the San Francisco Bay. We had a small dispute over a eating destination. I being used to Subway five dollar foot long's and Wendy's was looking elsewhere after seeing the lines outside of the Berkely shops extending into the streets; the culture there was different people would wait patiently in line for an Asiago roast beef with alvacodo and tomato basil croissant. We ended up leaving hungry. On the ride over I reached back and found a bag of peanut M&M's; soon we were both pounding them down to satiate out hunger pangs; when we realized how idiotic this was, we both started cracking up, that memory still resides with me. It was one of those moments where your not quite sure why its funny but it was.

   Upon arriving at the Bay Overlook Brent erased any doubt about this place and said his mind was made up. The overlook was especially scenic as it was a clear sunny day, the Pacific Ocean was visible to the right and the bay as well as the Golden Gate bridges and islands in front. After touring around town, hitting the 'Fishermans Wharf' which was similar to Seattle's 'Pike Wharf' and taking some pics above the Coit tower, Brent had to catch his train on out; as I was delivering him to the train depot he looked at me and said "Kyle, I think your car is smoking" rolling down his window and verifying he looked at me again and said "yep your car is definitely smoking" My engine gauge was way past normal and I parked to investigate upon popping the hood and being engulfed in fumes of smoke Brent got out and said I gotta catch the bus man, wish I could sty and help, best of luck! yeah great, I was stranded in San Fran with an overcooked car. I slammed the hood and sprinted over to the nearby mini mart, grabbed a gallon of water and inserted it into the anti-freeze, peering down underneath the car I realized the hose had indeed sprung a leak and the water was being pee'd all over the sidewalk. 

   Grasping for answers, I remembered I had AAA and called them for 'roadside assistance' a tow truck was soon in route and I waited bemoaning my bad luck. I was parked next to an alley and saw drag queens and rowdy bedraggled looking people coming in and out of a large door, not the cozy kind of venue you want to nod off in. The tow truck soon arrived and I asked him to tow me to the nearest coffee shop. He at first asked if I wanted to be parked behind the coffee shop since there was a sort of junkyard there, I said no I'd prefer to sleep in the illuminated locations, feeling like discarded  baggage or tsotchke to be filed away. The sleep that night was unpleasant, it was unusual due to the inability to wake up and blast some heat to warm me from the bitter cold. And if I were to be fiercely apprehended I was a 'sitting duck' with a dead car and no 'getaway'. When I did wake up from a restless night I stumbled into the adjacent Starbucks and ordered a straight 'dopio shot esspresso' to rejuvenate my numb senses. I sat down and considered my desperate plight. I was perusing the options on my GPS looking for a mechanic. The closest one was a Shell station I assumed the price wouldn't be cheap but beggars arent choosers. I had a 'ruptured water pump' and the price was 'astronomical' to fix. Having a new appreciation for a functioning car I finally left San Fran heading north in the direction of the Pt. Reyes Nat'l park. With that being said for sake of brevity and time I write the last leg of the trip of the redwoods and the trip up the Oregon Coast another time.

     

 

Friday, February 8, 2013

Southern Cal and The Seqoia's



    I once read "a person must have a magnificent reason  in writing their life story and expecting anyone to read it"  I have at times, been bored to tears perusing thick, exhaustive un-intriguing autobiographies of historical legends; yet my idea of writing stems from a desire to expound upon simple thoughts and formulate those ideas into expressions of reality. For many times, only in writing can your thoughts flow freely; unencumbered by the repressive confines of  day to day living and society's norms; concealed idea's you were unaware you possess,  can begin to surface. I used to think unless your name is Mozart, Churchill, General Patton or Barack Obama you should probably spend your free time finger painting or playing shuffleboard, because nobody outside your Mother  will want to hear the particulars of your pitiable existence and it will end how it began--with a wheeze. Others hold back from loquacious reminiscing; because talking about their past would be like reopening  a wound that has hence scared over, not to be pricked or pried with; yet as humans, we all share failures together and openness about thoughts and perceptions is a rare virtue. The rigors of life with the exception of the past few years have been relatively undemanding for me and I found success easily attainable; yet I write about this trip, because this is the year it all un-stitched like that of a snagged sweater.  


         That being said, bear with me as I plow ahead with my flimsy recollections of an unexpected journey through the country. After my night of debaucheries in Las Vegas(not to be serious, rather- tourism of a point of interest). I parked the car about forty miles out at a forlorn gas station, whither it was in or out of business I had no idea. I was to drowsy to exert much energy at this point and  forwent the folding back the seat (legs protruding into the trunk) routine, cranked back the lever grabbed my velvet blanket and crashed. I was promptly roused  from sleep by a sharp rap on my window; thinking of nothing but safety, and unwilling to be drug out and shot like a helpless animal I groped for my keys. However, once I cleared the cobwebs and my jumbled thoughts arranged linearly again, I decided to take a gander and venture out. I found myself staring blankly at two strangers, they were profusely apologizing for the inconvenience, explaining their car broke down and if I could give them a lift. One of them appeared to have had a few hashes to many and was tweaking. At first I asked if they could find anyone else to give them a lift. Surely they know somebody,  maybe a sister will come out, anybody but me. They said they'd try. I crawled back in my car and passed out, shortly after I was awoken by another knock on the window, with a bewildered moan accompanying with something intelligent like ooga, I stumbled out again, my friends were back, they were both babbling so rapidly and incoherently about their desperate plight that at this point I was like what the hell, Ill take you guys to your car. I explained "One would have to dig a hole in the backseat to locate space". With some random hippie on my right and drugged out fellow in back I located the interstate and roared off, back in the direction of Vegas. The baked gentleman in back kept thanking me, asking if I was an angel, I reiterated no, I was in the flesh; the hippie offered a $20 bill for the trouble which I also said no to. About 10 miles down and no sight yet of their car, I said you know, Ill take the 20 actually. 5 miles later we found a dilapidated car on the roadside which happened to be theirs. A moment that stayed with me, was right before the hippie shut the door, he  grabbed my hand, rather to tightly I thought, thanking me, yet instead of apprehension somehow the words "do you know Jesus slipped out" He said yes, I said "get to know him better" He looked back with a smile and promised he would. I'm not sure what moved me to say those words, but it was a spiritual moment for sure.   

    Waking up later than usual that morning I found the freeway and sped west toward the California border. Western California offered great contrast of scenery.  The rain soaked terrain led to a green embellishing, permeated by large boulders throughout Riverside, CA. where I visited a my moms cousin. I decided not to go to L.A., the only ideal place of interest was Hollywood and through prior research, wasn't that motivated. The next destination was Sequoia Nat'l Park. I didn't make it; due to spending the day visiting and taking in the terrain around Riverside.  I slept outside the Park that night.

                       
     At Daybreak I felt weary, bedraggled and strung out,from the road; yet Sequoia welcomed me with alluring splendor, upon gaining elevation I was overlooking mountainous topography; a swift flowing rocky stream underlined the base of a glaciated mountain range. The higher snow laden elevations were comprised of a thin layer of fog which added to the scenic appeal. A fresh blast of cool mountain air hit me and I thought; this is Great Success. Upon reaching the snow line however I read a sign warning tourists to 'chain up'. By now I was experienced in chain application, and slipped them on with lil trouble, however when circling my car I noticed my right rear wheel was sagging badly and had a puncture hole. I MacGyver'd up a quick solution spitting out my wad of gum and clogged the hole. IDK how but surprisingly it stayed attached for the duration of day and proved to be a temporary 'quick fix'. unfortunately as I climbed even further in elevation the fog cover thickened which made for obscured viewing. Yet the snow coating the giant sequoia tree's made for picturesque winter scenery.


      Upon breaching the summit, I asked a stranger if he could snap a pic of me attempting to hug a giant sequoia tree, I covered about a tenth of its circumference, after the shot of hugging earth mother, I mention how being in the east coast, they stereotyped us all as liberal tree huggers.  I found that perception unfair to everyone, he then responded "yeah I have a giant tree tattooed on my back so I love tree's."  baffled I replied "yeah that's cool,t tree's are great" and upon leaving  thought maybe everyone on the east having that  impression,   isn't that far off. 


      The snow level was about 6 feet at the first summit. The parking lot was full, from the visitor center; you had  shuttle over to the General Sherman tree. However, due to the snow level, half the park was shut down. The only way out was back down the mountain side; I decided to forgo the General Sherman tree and drive back to reach San Fran that night, having just found out my cousin Brent was going to be visiting  the Stanford and Berkeley campuses and was hoping to meet up. There was apparently to much need for speed; at the next bend as I rounded a corner I was  turning and just, kept turning. I was picking up speed  sliding down sideways, taking up both lanes of the road. I glanced right to find no guardrail. My heart rate was picking up speed as well at this point. I saw a snowy embankment on the left. and quickly wrenched  the steering all the way to the left crashing into the drift with some velocity. The impact jarred me, but I had no time to recover as I found I was in the wrong lane facing the wrong way. I saw a truck coming up in my rear view mirror and with chewed up snow spraying every direction, gunned the accelerator up and over the embankment, finally I was back on the road. I was more alert than ever now observing careful driving procedures the rest of the way down.
                                                                                         On reaching the bottom I focused on putting some distance in and sped toward San Fran. Once I passed what seemed like good million acres of wine country I went up over another mountain pass, when I went out to get gas the snow flakes were floating down, it was a refreshing experience. I must admit I was glad to see the snow again. I made it to San Fran around 8 that night. I actually met up with Brent on some dark street corner in Berkely, when he saw me his first question was "Kyle, what are you doing here" Well I'm traveling, up through the state etc. He just said "No really, what are you doing here?" I just said, you know that's a good question; we still laugh about that now. I found a place to sleep in Berkeley that night and after enjoying the luxury of a much needed hot shower, passed out for the night.


 (On the ascent I helped a man find his chains that apparently slipped off, he offered to take a  pic of me in  front of a great backdrop which I accepted)








Saturday, February 2, 2013

Hoover Dam and my night in Vegas


Day 14
      
      I woke up early due to the numbing sensation of the cold, I was bundled up like an Eskimo and had to unravel myself like that of a caterpillar emerging from a cocoon. Locating my keys was always a challenge in the morning, once accomplished my first coherent move was getting a good current of heat circuiting, unwilling to open the back door and risk the fresh blast of air, I repositioned myself and plunged forward into the drivers seat. These routines always felt like I was crawling into the cockpit of my own ship.  I was soon entering the desert plains of Nevada. The dullness of the scenery soon stymied any excitement that was still lingering after the idyllic night at the Grand Canyon.

        
I was in route to the Hoover Dam. Once I arrived and found parking I felt lethargic and wished for a piping hot double shot Americano to rejuvenate the senses. There was a road  accompanied by a walkway spanning the summit of the dam. Due to the lay of the land the wind  funneled down between canyons with great velocity.  The sheer extent of the drop below I found to be quite alarming, that combined  with being swayed by the force of the sweeping gale was enough to clear my senses without the needed asset of caffeine. There were danger signs spray-painted across the concrete ledge to warn the naive 'Steep slope' and then a little further down "Keep off wall" this was an obscure one, if your considering leaping, would this label actually stop you?  Maybe it alerted people who were in the mood to flirt with disaster and go 'whoop' right over. I got a few pics on top of the dam. One person that I regretted handing my camera to because of the language barrier; I found her aiming the camera elsewhere, and had to tell her to aim for my smiling face I then recollect her actually pointing it backwards while saying "okay smile" She must have been talking to herself. Another comical event anyway. It astounded me the  true volume of water mass the dam was holding back, I pictured for the second, the amazing amount of devastation that could occur, were the dam to break loose, it was a terrorizing thought to entertain.



           
       After Hoover Dam I got back in the car and re-routed, orientating myself in the direction of Las Vegas. At first, I wasn't sure whither to hit up Vegas, since being by myself would take some of the luster off the visit, but I figured I'd at least drive through. It was nightfall before I breached the outskirts of the city that never sleeps, upon entering and passing Safeway's and Subway's I finally after some hindrance  reached the strip with all the hubbub. Upon entering the strip I felt very much out of place, like a lost and weary pilgrim who just stumbled across Satan's playground instead of the holy land. I parked and with no clear game plan, grabbed a water bottle and stumbled out into the night. 
 


         
          The first attraction was a fountain that shot jets of water into the night in rhythm with  a symphony, it was located in the heart of a pool of water outlying the Bellagio Hotel. I stood there perched over the rail transfixed for probably a half hour. The lights over the water combined with the harmonious background music was spellbinding. I eventually moved on to the Bellagio hotel and Ceasers palace both were decorated with ornate architecture. After being witness to such posh, I returned outside and wandered further up the strip. I tried my hand at Gambling at some cheap slot machines, the first time I won 4 bucks and was hit with a case of 'gamblers bane': not quitting white your ahead. After losing 25 bucks I left feeling ripped off.




        Soon after, I decided to attempt frequenting a local strip joint but was stopped at the door on my first attempt and informed there was a 4 drink minimum, being a lightweight already I decided this was not a good move on my part. I was in Vegas alone without a DD, with plans to leave that night and had no desire to have my ass in a sling. Many people screamed by shouting "wheww yeah Vegas baby!" in very close proximity. I didnt share the same level of enthusiasm due to my utter lostness and lack of company. I feel like the whole point of Vegas is to make you feel trapped, like you can never get out of Vegas. At least it seemed to be designed that way After walking around for awhile I started seeing the same stores and bars and by the time I saw Ceasers palace from all 4 different angles I was beginning to feel uneasy. 3 hours later I finally located the fountain and soon after my car.


   
Aside from the architecture and aesthetic appeal.Vegas struck me as a black sink hole that sucks your money and time away and leaves you unfulfilled. It could have been the fact I was merely sightseeing however I'd rather be traversing Europe and exploring the rich history of the Santa Maria del Fiore in Florance or snorkling in the Caribbean than Gambling in Vegas, in fact I can hardly think of a bigger waste of money or time. One time I once came across a group of middle and high school girls with no supervision just walking around and it hit me how incredibly naive it was for that lack of foresight. After that, I was repulsed by the street vending prostitution.With these thoughts being mulled over in my head on the way out, I eventually found an old town with a gas station, located a parking spot folded the seat back and unsuccessfully attempted to crash. I couldn't sleep, my mind was racing.


      I had an epiphany of sorts that night. In my perception: Life and nature are similar concepts because nature is the study of how life acts and interacts within our circle of existence. When we take the time to examine the beauty of the world around us, we are able to see parallels within our own lives. It becomes a shrinking experience and we begin to think outside ourselves. All of nature moves in a spiral as do our personal lives. Not everyone responds to beauty in the same way; many are aware of it but don't allow it to light up the sentiment with reverent peace of mind. Material possessions don't please the way the natural elements can. My curiosity about the earth transcends my curiosity for other things. Desiring to find natural beauty inherently lies within the core desires of our being. uninhibited, unequivocal untouched by the corrosion of the mind. and only subject to the whims and harmonies of the free floating elements of the species. I see delicate beauty as soul stirring graffiti. After The Grand Canyon my eyes were opened to the depth of the of the natural world and self actualization was fully attained.
           


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

PHX and my night at the Grand Canyon




    Day- 6

     I woke up around 7 am in a rest stop somewhere outside of Gallop New Mexico. I traveled down I- 40 to the Petrified Forest National Park. I got there early and waited till a park ranger opened the gate opened around 8 am, fortunately for me I was there right when the sun came up and the view over the painted desert was tantalizing. The place is called "painted desert" due to the many different color layers of petrified wood coating the hillsides. I stopped at Jasper forest right as the sun was shining on the color bands of green red yellow and brown around the hillsides it was an incredible overlook.  I stopped at the Visitor center which offered a 2 mile walk strewn with petrified wood.

      I left the National park sometime before noon and drove down HWY-81. I was witness to some more spectacular scenery upon entering the Tonto Nat'l Forest accompanied by steep overpasses, rivers and Mountainous terrain. I passed a stranded man hoofing it back to town on the way and felt slight remorse for not offering aid ; however my car was  stuffed to full of random souvenirs to be of much assistance. I hoped karma wouldn't strike and my car break down and that situation soon be mine. Fortunately I made it down to PHX, but not before another cop pulled me over for my right blinker not working. This was my 3rd time in the last week being pulled over for this same issue. I tried replacing the bulb in Arkansas but there was corrosion that resembled bee's wax all over it and the adverse affect was the whole lighting system was out of commission. Noticing my Pennsylvania plates and WA drivers  license the sheriff immediately assumed I was a drug runner and subjected me to everything short of a full body cavity strip search. I was out of the car being fiercely apprehended while a dog searched around my car for hidden marijuana. Finally after pilfering through all my luggage he was convinced I wasn't up to no good and left. I then called my Mother's cousin Ronnie and arrived at his place to meet family members. And much to my chagrin watched the Packers beat the Steelers in the Super Bowl later that Day.  

          I spent a week in PHX enjoying the luxuries of the  balmy 75 degree weather and sunny days in February; palm trees and cacti were everywhere, it was a different world than what I was used to, after surviving the arctic blast while traveling through the Midwest and snowstorms the past 2 weeks. I got to visit all the Delbridge family, that was a fun experience most of my Grandpa's brothers were 80 and over and they could make you laugh and crack you up like nobody else. They were all one of a kind and completely off their rockers just like my Grandpa and it was great. At one point my Grandpa's brother Bruce told a story about being with his brother on a date and him ripping off a fart only to have his friend tap him on the shoulder and say your with a girl its okay ill take one for the team and get up and walk off so they think its me. These were the kind of stories and characters they were. I also got to spend a good deal of time with Jimmy Dell (Delbridge) another of Grandpa's brothers who is an evangelist with a rich history, incredibly musically gifted he once traveled with Johnny Cash and one of his songs "Teeney Weeney" made the national top 10 list.

      I was planning on finding work and staying there awhile longer but the employment rate was bad and my efforts to find work futile. I decided there were a lot more places I wanted to see namely the Grand Canyon and Nat'l parks in California. So after reading several maps and plotting a course. Without further adieu I headed north after a week in PHX. It was the last week of January 2011 and the winter weather led to road closures on overpasses of the national parks as well as a full closure of Yosemite. However there was a lot still to see. I went up through touristy Sedona which is just south of the Grand Canyon and was witness to spectacular landscape; the town was surrounded by massive red rock slopes and channel cut ridges promenaded the landscape. It was even more scenic than I expected. After stopping and walking around the town as well as hiking a trail I left around 3 to the Grand Canyon. 

      I was feeling hard pressed for time to reach the Grand Canyon before nightfall  and felt I may have tarried to long in Sedona. It was around 5 pm when I reached the south gate of the grand canyon and the sun was beginning to set. After complaining to the ranger about the $30 entrance fee, she just responded with a "if you feel it isn't worth it swing back around for your money back" turns out she was right. I got out for several viewpoints and due to the fading light sprinted back and forth to take a few pictures then run back to the car. At multiple overlooks I found myself running into large crowds of foreigners speaking to me in a language I didn't understand, I just nodded in agreement assuming they were referring to the view. Many times I had to wait or squeeze in for room just to catch a glimpse of the Canyon below. The views were breathtaking, but nothing prepared me for how exhilarating the view was at the last viewpoint on the southern rim. It defied my imagination of what was possible; the sun was setting right on the canyon edges and the clouds projected the red and golden rays of the sun right over the canyon below, bathing the the many chasms and ravines in a spectacular glow.


      I must have been at this viewpoint for 2 hours;  there was a ridge you could walk out onto, the stars were out and there was a full moon glistening over the canyon walls; this night will stay with me for the rest of my life. It was that memorable. It was in my mind: a "thin place" where there are those moments or experiences in life that are so brilliant the distance between the divine and the material seems small, and you can experience a closer contact with the Eternal. I felt like I caught a glimpse of the divine that night standing out there on that platform. The divine supposedly transcends time and space, yet we seek it in very specific places and at very specific times. If God is everywhere then why are some places thin and others not, or why isn’t the whole world thin? Maybe it is but we’re too thick to recognize it. Either way it was a moment that still endures within my mind. After taking several photo's I finally pulled myself away from the spectacular view and left. I hit the freeway heading back South then to on I-40  West again and stayed outside in a parking lot for the night in the town of Kingman. It was freezing but the prior events of the night made up for any minor discomfort.