Monday, April 24, 2017

Cpt. Kirk Sr's Sacrifice aboard the USS Kelvin: An allegory of Christ and Calvary

In the opening scene of the newest Star Trek film, Cpt George Kirk, sensing forthcoming destruction of the vessel yells  "Everyone get off of the Kelvin!" and kisses his super pregnant wife Winona goodbye as she goes into labor with James. She gives birth as George sacrifices himself and crashes the USS Kelvin  into the Romulans, saving everyone's life but his own. It's a pretty busy, and depressing, opening scene. Yet So, while Captain Kirks father may have died rescuing his family and friends aboard the Kelvin his legacy lives on, emblazoned in all of our hearts. Yet what impacted me the most during this opening scene is the manner in which George Kirk Sr. dies, it is the finest picture of a selfless sacrifice. As the kelvin hurtled toward impact His thoughts were toward his wife and his newborn son. He is naming him and thinking of the boys new certain and "safe future". We can all see representations of Jesus looking toward John on the cross as he tells them in no uncertain terms to leave this place of shameful suffering and look after their needs. His mind must have drifted in this moment to the joy set before him, our new names and safe identity in Christ which are written in his nail scarred hands. He is most likely visualizing the wedding feast in his Fathers kingdom, an eternal life of joy, the creation set aright into an unfallen state, all of Satans lies exposed and done away with, forever, the new Jerusalem, his eternal bride composed of every tribe every tongue and nation, washed clean with a new redeemed nature in whom he was bleeding for. It must have been the only thing that comforted and sustained him in this shameful state of horror and morbid suffering.

I see Cpt. Kirks sacrifice as a picture of Jesus. His earthly pod is heading speedily toward incoming divine wrath and certain destruction. Yet his thoughts are toward us and our future lives we would get to enjoy as our death would become his. It must have been these images which comforted his poor tormented tried and vexed soul as he endures the unfathomable crushing weight our sins so deserve.  "They are coming to you FATHER! I am bringing them to you". A cup mixed with gall is thrust to his lips but he refuses. He must taste the bitter pangs of death to the fullest. If the weight of the fall is to be placed on the redeemers graceful shoulders. He must drink that poisoned cup to the dregs. 

It was in the words He spoke to the Roman contingent right after his betrayal and before his arrest "IF YOU COME FOR ME, LET THESE MEN GO THEIR WAY!" In the same way Cpt Kirks mother was in labor, Jesus was experiencing the birth pangs of our new spiritual lives. It would NEED to take his sacrifice, a substitute in our place. An eternal redemption could only be purchased by an eternal being and the awful price of sin could only be understood by the death of the apple of God's eye: His own dearly beloved son. The God-man.

JESUS mans the doomed vessels we are all on, whose trajectory is a collision course for eternal destruction. The SON passionately yells at the adversary the same way he yelled at Pharaoh through Moses 1500 years prior "LET MY PEOPLE GO!"  Out of slavery of sin and Satan the redeemed must come. In every cell of the dungeons of Despair, the sound is echoed, "Let these go their way," Satan hears the well-known voice, and lifts his foot from the neck of the fallen; and Death hears it, and the grave opens her gates to let the dead arise. Their way is one of progress, holiness, triumph, glory, and none shall dare to stay them in it.

By faith let us rejoice that we shall still reign in Christ Jesus. The woman's seed in spite of the decision of the first of her kind to taste the tainted fruit shall in the end prevail.What dishonor to Satan to have his head bruised by human feet! 

For Jesus, the ruling passion is strong in death. He resigns himself to the enemy, but he interposes a word of power to set his people free. As to himself, like a sheep before her shearers he is dumb and opened not his mouth, but for his disciples' sake he speaks with almighty energy. Herein is love, constant, self-forgetting, faithful love. 

"No lion shall be on their way, neither shall any ravenous beast go upon them. "The hind of the morning (The Son of God)" has drawn the cruel hunters upon himself, and now the most timid roes and hinds of the field may graze at perfect peace among the lilies of his loves. The thunder-cloud has burst over the Cross of Calvary, and the pilgrims of Zion shall never be smitten by the bolts of vengeance. Come, my heart, rejoice in the immunity which thy Redeemer has secured thee, and bless his name all the day, and every day." -CH Spurgeon

By his love, and pity, and compassion, he is sure to remember you. A woman can sooner forget her nursing-child than your God could forget you.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Our Spiritual Father

   My understanding of the family of God as little as it it is is nowhere close to the appreciation of the grandeur it deserves. We have been brought into an heavenly family. God is our real spiritual Father. He is as connected as an earthly father in fact more so, because we share one of his sons X chromosomes. I may be poor but I have a brother in heaven who is rich. A brother in heaven where I am going and I will one day meet.

   Yet, if we look around we shall find we are in an enemies country. There are more spies, double agents, and deceptive forces than we realize. The mere act of looking out a window can cause the green sin of envy and jealous root of bitterness to shoot up within us. Therefore we should expect trouble, in God's regiments we are the mark of all the riflemen of the enemy.We must all be on our guard for the devil has deceived many soldiers of the cross by making them fall into sins that few thought possible at one point in their spiritual walk. We are strangers and sojourners in a land not our own, as Israelites seeking the promised haven, so we as Christians are today. The world is not our friend if it is then we are not God's friend. According to Spurgeon "Be assured that thou shalt find foe-men everywhere. When thou sleepest, think thou art resting on the battlefield; when thou wakest, suspect an ambush in every hedge. As mosquitoes are said to bite strangers more than natives so will the trials of be sharpest to you.Lastly look within thee, into thine own heart, if thou hadst no devils to tempt thee, no enemies to fight, and no world to ensnare thee, thou wouldst still find in thyself evil enough to be a sore trouble for thee".

   I pray that we will remember that we are eternal beings, future-eternal not past-eternal and we will one day judge angels on thrones. Wait judge angels? The seraphim and cherubum? It is impossible, surely angels are greater in power and might than us poor feeble mortal folk? Yet it says it scripture "we shall judge angels" how marvelous a picture this is. As humans we were all made lower than angels but Jesus through being made"a little lower than the angels" he has brought us up with him, and now through his effacious blood we will reign with him and have his very righteousness attributed to us. Could these be the fallen angels Paul is referring to? Possible, he does not make this distinction. However, judge we will is all we are sure of in this present estate.

In Ephesians 1:5 “we read that he predestined us to be adopted as his sons (and daughters) through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.”

    According to Charles Spurgeon: "I believe God has made many things that are not his children. He made the angels, who stand in an high and holy position, are they his children? "Unto which of the angels said he at any time, thou art my son?" I do not find, as a rule, that angels are called the children of God; No, beloved, it needs something beyond creation to constitute the relationship, and those who can say, "Our Father which art in heaven," are something more than God's creatures: they have been adopted into his family. He has taken them out of the old black family in which they were born; he has washed them. and cleansed them, and given them a new name and a new spirit, and made them "heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ;" and all this of his own free, sovereign, unmerited, distinguishing grace." John Bunyan, in the first part of his "Pilgrim's Progress," describes Christian as a lonely traveler, pursuing his road to the Celestial City alone; occasionally he is attended by Faithful, or he meets with a Hopeful; but these are casual acquaintances, and are not of his kith or kin: brother or child after the flesh he has none with him." SO as we as Christians make our way through this weary world full of woe, we will find heavenly family members who are our brothers and sisters in the spirit. I must hold that in the moment when Jesus Christ paid my debts, my debts were cancelled—in the hour when He worked out for me a perfect righteousness, it was imputed to me, and therefore I may, as a believer say I was complete in Christ before I was born.I find this amazing truth in the gospel that states: It is in the souls of men that God delights. Angels have not souls as they are heavenly spirits and cannot sing in this same redemption song. But can only be partakers to gawk and wonder at the unfathomable love of their God. 

     The legalist says "I don't see it. I cannot have it and I won't, if we are both equal in character, it cannot be fair that one should be lost and the other saved" and thus he mocks at free grace. This will always be unpopular and men will hate it. They cannot fathom how it could not be a show of works and instead a show of God's rich and free undeserving grace to us poor sinners. What? Popular to humble a mans pride, to abolish mans standing, and make him cringe before God as a poor sinner? No they grind their teeth at this. WE all fancy ourselves as little Gods, little deities in this vast universe, surely that cannot be the case. it is far too self-abasing No it will never be popular til men are born pure as angels, and all of us love the Lord with an appreciation unmatched, and that will not be seen just yet in this world.

    I wanted to close this with another inspiring quote from the prince of preachers: "He who knows himself will never think that he has much to recommend of himself to God. In cases of adoption, there usually is some recommendation. A man, when he adopts a child, sometimes is moved thereto by its extraordinary beauty, or at other times by its intelligent manners, and winning disposition. But, beloved, when God passed by the field in which we were lying, He saw no tears in our eyes till He put them there Himself! He saw no contrition in us until He had given us repentance; there was no beauty in us that could induce Him to adopt us—on the contrary we were everything that was repulsive! And if He had said, when He passed by, “You are cursed, be lost forever,” it would have been nothing but what we might have expected from a God who had been so long provoked and whose majesty had been so terribly insulted! But no, though He found a rebellious child, a filthy, frightful, ugly child, He took it to His bosom and said, “Black though you are, you are beautiful in My eyes through My Son, Jesus. Unworthy though you are, yet I cover you with His robe, and in your Brother’s garments, I accept you. “you are made a prince! You are adopted into the royal family, and you shall one day wear a crown! You are now as much the son of God, as you are the son of your own father.” You can conceive the poor creature fainting with joy at such a thought, that he whose neck was just ready for the halter, should have his head now ready for a crown—that he who expected to be clothed in the felon’s garb and taken away to death, is now to be exalted and clothed in robes of honor! So, Christian, think what you did deserve—robes of shame and infamy—but you are to have those of glory. Are you in God’s family now? Well said the poet— “It does not yet appear, How great we must be made.” We do not know the greatness of adoption yet. Yes, I believe that even in eternity we shall scarcely be able to measure the infinite depth of the love of God in that one blessing of “adoption by Jesus Christ unto Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will.”

Let us think of the many of our brothers and sisters that are in the back streets of the world, that are in the dens and caves of Satan. "Think of the poor brothers and sisters that are intoxicated with the spirit of the evil one; think of him or her, led astray by pride, greed, lust and discontent, and perhaps to murder, pray for them, pray for us all and may God keep us all -- His eternal family, in the sovereign grip of His Almighty Grace" 

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Light shining through darkness (Myth vs fact)

   "A believed idea feels different from from an idea that is not believed . And that peculiar flavor of the believed is never in my experience without a special sort of imaginative enjoyment" This struck me as very unique perspective, yet there is another sense of the meaning C.S. Lewis goes on to describe "On the contrary though, we spoil a mythology for imaginative purposes by believing in it. Fairies are popular in England because we don't think they exist. The contemplation of what we take to be real is always, I think with a certain level of aesthetic satisfaction-a sort which depends solely on its supposed reality. There is dignity and poignancy in the bare fact that a thing exists" -Lewis. This is why mythology and spiritualism in my mind is more popular than rigid Christianity. "It looks as if the confusion between imaginative enjoyment and intellectual assent, of which Christianity is accused, is not nearly as common as people suppose".

   For to me a story resonates within the myth, that which was told became incarnate (Jesus) or fact. A living breathing organism, no longer unbound by the constraints of time, space and matter, but fused the divine with the mortal, to share our fleshly fate. I mean is this not what we all wish for? Is this not why Harry Potter, Star Wars and Peter Pan to certain minds become so fulfilling. There is an enjoyment of that which is uncannily and strictly imaginative which pleasantly suits our imaginations. This kind of free range imagination without rules of gravity, laws and finite limitations is what we all inherently long for. The undoing of a particular "unpleasant" curse is the very idea we so nobly agree as heroism, (beauty kissing the beast), the beast tells the princess of his life before the curse, of his noble splendor before he was damned to his hairy fate. What motivated her in this movie? Was it nothing utter than compassion? Michaelangelo was once asked as he chiseled a small chink in each statue; why are you not focusing on just one whole statue at a time? "Because he said, I'm trying to set the angel free in each one" Like the grand artisian himself, God visualizes a perfect angel inside all the covered up layers of sin, pride and narcissism, the real you is a hidden internal beauty. Another example of heroism that has moved me is Gandalf abysmal fall in the moria mines against the Balrog, and his subsequent return stronger than ever. Darkness cannot quench out light however hard it may try to do so, or how it appears, even the darkest blackness, the black flame itself cannot hold the lightest light. Because when it does attempt to quench, the light just comes back and shines brighter than ever.

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." -John 1:5

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Citing quotes against the greatest modern myth

   I have been receiving a fair amount of harsh criticism regarding my lack of citation and documentation for scientific claims made in my entry "Why Evolution is as ridiculous as it sounds" In lieu of this criticism I wanted to share some information I unearthed. My goal is for this to give some 3D dimensional filler to apparent abstract blueprint claims.

    Let me start this off by stating the name dinosaur did not even come about til 1841, before this they
were commonly termed dragons meaning terrible lizards. Opposed to Eons of time periods spanning millions of years starting with the cretaceous period, there have in fact been accounts by Marco Polo of dragon sightings and slaying of these beasts described in detail throughout ancient texts. Claims made by Alexander the Great, and even Herodotus who is often called the father of all history. And accordingly we find soft tissue in these enormous animals. In a book labeled: Proceedings of the Royal Society: Biological Sciences we find information regarding the inner tissues of these enormous beasts. This one of a triceratops fossil stating "hollow, transparent and flexible blood vessels.The presence of soft vessels is enigmatic".

    Additionally, we are finding fossils of insects such as dragonfly's whose wingspan is measure to be 3 feet in length, clearly the atmospheric conditions pre-flood were vastly different than they are today, a dragonfly of that massive proportions in this day and age could not even get off the ground. Fossils of alligator skulls are being found to be 6x as large as the dimensions of current alligator heads today. A 16 ft in length turtle fossil was also unearthed in the 19th century and now resides at the Yale University museum which is further evidence showing organisms on a whole were far larger than they are today. Many human giant bones have been documented to have been unearthed throughout eastern america by archaeologists alluded to in the NY times. Giant bones that stood 12 feet fall.  It was the 16th president of the United States Abraham Lincoln who in 1848 was quoted to have said "the eyes of that species of extinct giant whose bones fill the mounds of america have gazed on Niagara as our eyes do now"

    The current  "only" purported missing link between humans and apes is called "Lucy" a dead monkey in Africa. And what they are stating is this: that if she had "hands"which she does not, they would be human hands; also if "Lucy" had a complete skull we could further tell that it was a humanish skull. Finally, the pelvis bone if it was complete which it also is not, would show this small monkey walked upright. And really, it would not matter if it did because we see monkeys today that walk upright. You'd have an extremely hard time convincing me this is credible evidence. All we really know is "a monkey died". Nonetheless, this "Lucy" is reconstructed with missing bones now slapped on over a in thin layer of skin and appears in a museum inside a glass box like a....mud covered swamp thing, coming forth,from a late flick.

     Furthermore, I wanted to bolster some claims made in regards to the inaccuracy and crude science of radiocarbon dating. Humanitarian Dr. Robert Lee stated: "No matter how useful it is the
radiocarbon method is still not capable of yielding accurate and reliable results. There are gross discrepancies. The chronology is uneven and relative and the accepted dates are actually selected dates. This whole bless thing is nothing but 13th century alchemy and it all depends on which funny paper you read." He is also quoted to have said "Why do geologists and archaeologists still spend their scarce money on costly radiocarbon determinations? They do so because the occasional dates appear to be useful. While the method cannot be counted on to give good unequivocal results. The numbers do impress people and save them the trouble of thinking excessively. "Absolute" dates determined by a laboratory carry a lot of weight and are extremely helpful in bolstering weak arguments."

    In regards to the reliability of our current methods of carbon dating it was Dr. Willard Libby, not only a noble prize winner but also a contributor to the Manhatten project who stated and I quote "You read books and find statements that such and such society or archaeological site is claimed to be 20,000 years old. We learned rather abruptly that these numbers, these ancient ages are not known (speculations and imaginative guesses) ; in fact it is about the time of the first dynasty in Egypt that the last (earliest) historical date of any real significance has been established"

     I couldn't find it more appropriate to enter in to source documentation the words of Max Planck who is known as the father of quantum physics. He was quoted to have said "All matter originates and exists on earth only by the virtue of a force which brings the particles of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume behind this force the
existence of an conscious and intelligent mind."

     Now this is all credible evidence painting a far different picture than that of our current educational systems systematic way of pushing evolution. Just to give you an idea of how intricate we are made, the building blocks (or recipe) if you will, of life itself: the human DNA strand is made up of a quantum of information inside every single cell roughly comparable to 12 sets of The Encyclopedia Britannica, an amazing 384 volumes worth of detailed data. Yet their the size is only two millionths of a millimeter thick. A teaspoon of DNA has "all the information needed to build the proteins for all the species of organisms that have ever lived on the earth. Let me tell you that in our universe perpetual motion is everywhere and many of us lack even a crude understanding how complex motion is. It was Jewish nobel prize winner Neils Bohr who very famously gave us the actual model of the atom who was quoted to have said and I quote "Everything we regard as real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real" Our ‘universe’ owes it’s combined energy to something much more advanced. He also once said “I don’t know how the electrons got started spinning, and I don’t know how to stop them, do you?”

   Let me also start by saying it was the noted attorney and advocate for american Indian affairs Vine Deloria who wrote in his book titled: Holocaust of the Giants "Some of these old country and regional history books contain real gems because the people were not subjected to a rigid indoctrination of evolution and were astonished by what they found and honestly reported it".

     All of these sources show that the truth is not what many high practitioner (scientists) believe it is. With all the technology and bones, fossils and ancient text including the Bible, those who cling to evolution, do it to their demise, they are outdated and irrelevant. They will continue to lie to us. I and many others will present to them another point of view and let them decide what is science and what is a fairy tell. They call the Bible a fairy tell, while they hold to a theory that Darwin himself began to doubt. The truth is truly stranger than fiction. If you really follow the hard, outlined evidence, apply scientific methods and open your closed indoctrinated minds you'll see evolution doesn't have a monkeys leg to stand on. I could go on but in the end you're going to hold on to your belief as much as I am going to hold on to mine. The Creationists have a much better argument all around. There's a big difference between observational and historical Science. All Scientists agree on the observational side, but not on the historical because we weren't there. So the nonsense perpetrated about of billions of years by mans measuring standards, just doesn't hold water. The very fact that Evolutionists believe that by sheer numbers they have validity over Scientists who stand across the floor from them is the epitome of arrogance. What do you think the Creationists have been doing all along, if not also studying their craft for years on end? Their arguments just make so much more sense. The sheer number of complex organisms on our planet running and working in perfect motion together could not just have been born out of random forces in some primordial soup. Complexity of this level could have only come about from an Intelligent Designer. The logic of the human mind simply points in that direction.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Til We Have Faces, "Cupid and Psyche" A myth retold

   I experienced stirring heart-rending sensations after I just finished C.S. Lewis classic "Till We Have Faces" . The themes throughout the book continue to haunt me causing me to feel deep emphatic emotion. It is a retelling of the greek myth "Cupid and Psych" through the eyes of her ugly and disfigured older sister Orual. Psyche is the youngest sister of a tyrant king and so captivatingly beautiful that people worship her instead, which incites the jealous anger of the gods, her father the king consults an oracle who tells him to leave Psyche chained on a mountain since she is not meant for any mortal man. Cupid is tasked with putting her under a spell to fall for the worst of all men, but instead is smitten with her and Psyche is stolen away. Orual, left grief stricken over the gods decision to take all that was precious and beautiful out of her life vows to avenge. True to the Cupid and Psyche of Platonicus's Metamorphoses, Psyche's new god-husband keeps his face veiled, and only comes to her in the cover of night. Orual first takes her sister for mad, but eventually is convinced (in spite of herself) that perhaps she should leave Psyche to her newfound joy, to the love of her husband. But here jealousy and obsessive love step in, grudging Psyche her happiness, her love. Orual is unable to comprehend, much less approve, of any love for Psyche that usurps her own. Orual, predictably, resents the gods for the gulf now so plainly separating her from Psyche. "the world had broken in pieces and Psyche and I were not in the same piece. Seas, mountains, madness, death itself, could not have removed her from me to such a hopeless distance. Gods, and again gods, and always gods . . . they had stolen her." (120- 121) Psyche pleads with Orual to open her spiritual eyes and see the palace now standing all around her in dazzling splendor; and Orual is indeed tempted. In the end, though, jealousy wins the day. Orual delivers Psyche an ultimatum: either expose this "god's" face this night, or I will kill myself. To this threat Psyche reluctantly acquiesces, broken with sorrow. Everything, she knows, is now changed, horribly changed, altered forever. She will betray her god to satisfy her sister's love-need. "I know what I do," Psyche informs Orual. "I know that I am betraying the best of loves and that perhaps, before sunrise, all my happiness may be destroyed forever" (166). The die is cast: Rationalizing that she has gone mad and her husband was nothing but a lecherous brute, a monster with veiled face.  Orual thought she was acting out of love and in Psyche’s best interests(so she convinced herself) the next morning, as Orual begins, incredibly, to catch glimpses of a great palace rising from the mountain, the valley is suddenly besieged by rockslides, storms, general destruction, and Orual understands suddenly and fully the extent of her guilt. Hearing in the distance Psyche's cries ringing from the rocks. She has sentenced her beloved sister to a life of wandering and toil, and herself to guilt, anxiety, and unutterable loneliness. She is left desolate, to wander the earth always weeping tears of dismay. Orual prepares to return to her kingdom to live the lonely life of the warrior queen. Her nights henceforward will be haunted by phantomlike howls and clinking of chains, and all her attempts to locate Psyche will fail. For Orual's sin of obsessive love, for her fear of the dividing gulf, Orual is left alone to grow in power but never in love, wearing a mask to conceal her hideous features, yet always wonder at the silence of the gods. Searching always for her sister, torn by what she had done, it was a life of inner agony and regret. Only at the end of her life, in visions of her lost beloved sister, will she hear an answer. In Queen Orual's last hours, when all the dead have gathered to hear her complaint against the gods....she again meets Psyche.

       After many years had passed she is embittered and angry at the gods. Eventually she see's that her love was of a possessive and harmful nature. Only at the end of a hard rugged life does she find her beautiful sister Psyche who has "hungered and thirsted and tread hard roads, and fought battles whom the gods could not fight, the victim to malice and ill will thrust upon her.  Cupids last words towards Orual are now running through her brain "You woman, shall know yourself and your work, you shall be called "Psyche". She had been misunderstanding the decree, and believing it meant a sharing in her poor younger sisters laborious exile. 

    Yet at the end of her years,  as she removes the mask she has been wearing to conceal her ugliness, she is swept away into vivid visions of  her sisters wandering.  The real truth of the betrayal comes to light. Psyche herself, like the mythical Psyche, has been sentenced to eternal turmoil to all manner of impossible tasks. Orual is guided  to a place where she is shown images of Psyche performing these. She was tempted by mortals on every side "I looked and saw Psych walking , alone in a wide way under the earth-a gentle slope, a gentle slope but downwards always downwards, I saw a (light opened up) and there a great table and rabble sat "Istra" (as she was known on earth) princess! Stay with us! Be our goddess, rule us! speak oracles to us" Psyche walked on and never looked at them. Another figure that arose was the wise old fox who raised her  "Fie, child do you want to be a barbarian all your days? Come back to me and I'll lead you out of all this darkness", yet onward she still descended, colder darker, deeper it became until eventually a third place, an image of a woman and when I looked at it I felt a pity that nearly killed my heart, despair, humiliation, entreaty, endless reproach and now I trembled for Psyche, for I knew the thing was only there to entrap her and turn her from her path, she held out her hands to Psyche and I saw the left arm dripping with blood, then came her voice so full of passion it would have moved you even if it spoke of happy or careless things "Oh Psyche" it wailed. "Oh my sister, my only love. Come back. Come back. Back to the old world where we were happy together. Come to me, sister" Psyche bit her lip till the blood came and wept bitterly. I thought she felt more grief in that instance than wailing Orual. She however kept on, journeying always further down into death. That was the last of the visions.

 "Did we really do these things to her?" I asked the fox (now beside her in the vision) "Yes all here are true" the voice replied. "It was those that loved her most; she had no more dangerous enemies than us" And Psyche in that old terrible rime when I thought her cruel....she suffered more than I perhaps?" "She bore much for you then. You have bore something for her now" Even your life your pain, your sorrows have aided her tasks,  that poisonous bowl of regret, has now been filled, this will be the final step of her journey." (to take that very bowl to the gods) They say...but even I, do not understand but a few broken words of their language. Only this I know. This age of ours will one day be in the distant past. Nothing yet is in it's true form"

    Many voices were soon after heard shouting in glee "She comes! Our lady returns to our house, the goddess Psyche is back from the lands of the dead. bringing with her the casket of beauty from the shadows" Like having been reunited with a long lost scent or desire, Orual soon after found herself falling at Psyches feet "Oh Psyche, never again will I call you mine, but all there is of me shall be yours, alas you know now what its worth, I never wished you well, my love was a craver"  Psyche now bent over to lift Orual up then replied "But sister, dear sister, you must stand up, I have not given you the casket, you know I went a long journey to fetch the beauty that will make you beautiful. "Did I not tell you there would be a day you and I would meet in a house with no mythical cloud between us" For in this moment the divine met the mortal and looking at a glowing reflection, Orual saw not one but 2 Psyches smiling back at them. She only now understood the true meaning of Psyche's selfless love and Cupids decree "She goes to sojourn in treacherous lands, You will be Psyche" 

    When at last Oruals waged  complaint against the God's is heard, she finds herself filled with shame for now she understands the silence, the misery, Psyches absence, her selfless and true love all at once. It was all for her, although she understood it naught. 

 C.S. Lewis considered this, although the most least known of all his novels his finest work. It leads me to consider the complex motives that underlie my actions — even the ones that seem most altruistic; it raises the possibility that there are precious few who yet have faces. I ask myself whether my holy places are dark like Orual’s or whether I am quick, like The Fox, to explain with glib reason just what the “divine nature” is or is not like."

Judge and Jury

   I  have a short story to share with you all. For those of you who don't think I share enough...well I actually don't think those people exist. You can't say my heart is not in the right place however. Here's my story: it was a dark and stormy night when I was apprehended near Cle-Elum, WA and the rest of that night I actually don't care to share, we can gloss over many details, those particulars I would rather reveal with you at a bar over a pint of beer: I should have froze to death that night. Soon after that nightmare there were court dates, the first time I showed up. I noticed a rag-tag group of people who looked lost and confused. However when I walked in and said my name the attorney looked at me and said "he's with me" I got this one. A fresh wave of relief spread over me, the work was already done. You know I had a moment of realization; for on that great day when we are all are judged for our deeds in the body, we are going to want a good lawyer to represent us. The best one is available at a free price right now. For the time will come for me to give an account, when my life is laid out before me I am sure I will be amazed at the list of transgressions. After a lengthy rendition in a long drawn out manner, my offenses are listed off by the accuser of the brethren before the most high. 

   After what seemed like an eternity of my standing before there, forced to re-live my many moments of shame when I lived in error--I was beginning to feel extremely uncomfortable. In this hour, there was no shortage of hideous things: In multitudes and dark masses, they had formed a barricade around me, wedging me off from access to the throne in a direct affront of isolation. I was shaking with fear, the trial was not going well. Hells fires were smoking in the background, and my only option is to plead guilty, in this moment however a loud voice emerges from amidst the crowded courtroom "enough!"  Jesus steps forward in that moment with an "objection your honor", "He's with me" I got his case, he was assigned to me before time began, he didn't even select me for his representative, but I picked up the case, here "my perfect life" look at my deeds instead of his, he'll have me represent him for his life because he had faith, here's where he believed in me, here, and here and also here. It is enough. He is innocent. I paid for his eternal life. 

  We all get to choose who we want to represent us on that courtroom day, ourselves, Satan, Jesus, whatever law or moral code we live by will be our attorney to represent us. If it's just you representing yourself, I'm telling you right now, that is not a good idea and you are in trouble. The judge would look at these people in court and say "you have no idea what you're up against, you need to be educated on the nature of your crime, the lingo is heavy, and deep". When we are going to give account of our lives, do you feel good with the one you've selected?


   So I'm having a misty moment now as I walk down memory lane. A blast from the past hits me, yet again reminding me of the fragility and malevolent nature of life. I'm going to share a feel good story now if you have time to read it. I recall my adventure to Oklahoma in the dead of winter with a shudder as I recollect on the many near death expierencs I underwent in order to help a friend. It was in November that an old friend contacted me, explaining her dire circumstances, she was on the streets of Oklahoma after she flew down to be with her mom whose ruthless step dad kicked her out. She had been on the streets now for nearly a year in the drug infested crime ridden town of Lawton, Oklahoma. She was now penniless and practically freezing to death in the cold. She found way to contact me however to inform me of her desperate plight and ask for solutions. Of course I had none, I had struggles myself I was dealing with driving a dilapidated beater of a car and barely making ends meet at Starbucks, yet I said I'd do what I could. I knew she was in the wrong scene and wouldn't make it much longer, her past and story was a rough one. She was homeless and already developed frost bite in places, if I didn't help, no one would. I saved up a small amount of cash and took off, misfortune and a high risk of failure awaited, I knew the risks yet still I left. Once I found myself stranded off the freeway in a blizzard with a shattered S belt needing a tow, promptly blew a tire the next morning, which left me penniless after the repairs, the Stanhope clan in steamboat springs, CO offered me help and Jason a job washing equipment so I could continue to my destination. After driving 20 hours straight I arrived in the terrible town of Lawton, Oklahoma around 2 am. Crime, gang activity, drugs and unrestricted violence ran unchecked in this town. It took me hours to find her after searching the places in town where cops wouldn't even dare go due to the gang violence involved. This was literally Liam Neesan 'taken' style. Eventually I did. She was in shad shape to say the least, dirty, strung out and freezing, I showed up and said "grab your things, I'm gonna take you home".

    There were people there however who did not want her to leave, surrounding unsavory individuals glanced at me curiously, I could tell you about the seedy people I encountered until the vomit welled up in the back of your throat. We started walking away and the surrounding lights fluttered then turned off I heard activity and loud voices, a gunshot was fired in the distance, I began to feel intense adrenaline pumping through my veins and we began to run, however her feet were frost bitten and blistered and she couldn't run any further after awhile. I picked her up and still began to sprint, I didn't look behind I only heard loud voices. A cramp developed in my leg as soon as I glimpsed my car. This is it I thought I'm going to get nailed in the back 20 feet from the extraction point at any moment expecting to feel a bullet whizz past my ear. I made it to the car threw her in the passenger seat and peeled out of there like a bat outta hell. Driving as far as I could away from Lawton. She woke up soon after and asked me to pinch her so she wasn't dreaming which I did kindly. Yes we're in an automobile and I'm putting as many miles behind me, you and that shithole as possible, I've been in some seedy places, but Lawton was surely the armpit of the world no doubt. I parked in Amarillo as the sun rays began to perk over the flat terrain still gripping the steering wheel. I hadn't slept in 2 nights and was running off straight emotion and adrenaline.

At one point while we were in Vegas I was pushing through dense crowds of people for awhile with Darien in tow all the while holding her lil' hand and steering her around the drunk, strung out masses of inebriated humanity. However, I accepted a vendors offer for a buy-one-get-one free alcoholic beverage. While inside the bar I began feeling uneasy now Darien was out of sight, I returned illegally supplying the minor with a foamy IPA. She was almost 21 so I didn't feel too bad about it. "Now you can say you had a beer in Las Vegas Darien" We sat down on a flower pot and chugged our beers with the city lights all around. We both agreed we were exhausted and upon leaving Vegas, Darien became sentimental, "I'm feel like a lost lil guppy here in a large ocean. I'm just a poor homeless gypsy orphan girl from a small oklahoma town, people dont do these kind of things for me." I smiled and said "it don't matter who you are or where you come from, you're never too poor, or too weak to set out on an adventure and see the world." That was my motto, hell I couldnt afford this, I'm a barista at Starbucks from a small eastern WA, town. People would ask me later how did you afford that trip? I'd just say, "I didn't"..

    Long story short however we traveled up back to Vancouver, we were like Bonny and Clyde encountering cops, car problems and more adversity on the way, one time while in Vegas we we're watching the fountain display with music in the background and the bright lights of the Bellagio and Ceasars palace streaming down, I glanced over and she was mesmerized, emotionally breaking down "people don't do these kind of things for me, I'm just a homeless gypsy girl in Oklahoma left on the streets to die" I figured everybody gets a chance to see the world though. After seeing the Grand Canyon and Crater Lake we made it back to Vancouver, I left for Pullman, on the way I lost my car and nearly froze to death in 16 degree weather but that's another story. I made it back and found myself biking in the winter 15 miles to work on a sheet of ice and snow on some occasion yet I'm still standing. I would do anything for a friend despite the cost. And this time the cost was great. She has now been sober 4 months with good people and found the her first job of her life recently. I don't mean to toot my own horn here but despite the many ties, friends I've lost and adversity I've faced recently, from being the kid everyone thought would take the world by storm competing in Science events nationally, to the last 5 years of unraveled mistakes, this is what makes me feel I have purpose and a plan still and can not only save a life but change one too.