Monday, September 14, 2015

A Tale of two Millionaires: How I found Salvation on the Palouse

    Pullman and the Palouse was where the hardiness of my soul was tested, the real truth is the kyle that was the old me, the kyle that was self entitled and godless was staked somewhere between a mile marker and a snowbank. Like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole and continuing to pound til it's tough to dislodge was my stubborn ego attempting to find the 'super fit' in a scene that wasn't for me. I never felt the connection around those I met at parties like the one I felt around people of faith. God had to take me through alot in order to arrive at that point. Over a period of several months every physical item of sentimental value had departed from me. Every little thing I turned to instead of God was plucked or snatched as if God himself was literally slapping my hand each time it reached too far inside the cookie jar. I never got my cookies and it's probably a good thing I did not. I started feeling sorry for myself, my attitude had become calloused and bitter, my roommates seemed to grow distant from me, I turned to alcohol and hookah every night after a long day to cope with my financial situation. I started avoiding the bars altogether. I was like a sojourner in a barren land, waking up every day and biking to work with khakis rolled up past the knee, white long underwear underneath and black socks extending halfway up. I threw on my starbucks sweatshirt, blue beanie, grabbed my iphone and with the bumpin beats permeating my system, hit the steep hill next to my house, flew down at breakneck speed with the view of campus before me, sometimes in a driving rain or snowstorm and pedaled the 7 miles to moscow  to work. In hindsight I feel like a fool, doing what I did. I had lost my license, lost my car and a good deal of many other things. Yet, I think the motivation driving me forward was that I was going to overcome all of this adversity on my own strength, like the "Rocky theme" of training in snow to kick the big, brutal Russians ass. This was me being a 'badass', yet that right there was my fatal flaw, I had too much pride to come back home, my battered ego had suffered enough. I had failed before multiple times here. I was going to 'fight back' whatever means available to me and right at this moment I still had a bike and a job, I could pay for my re-instatement fee soon and attend classes on campus in the fall, pay off my court fee's for negligent driving, save for a car, I just had to endure the harsh winter and spring. My heart was so focused on doing it 'my way' though. I wanted to come back and tell everyone the great story of my accomplishments, biking over a sheet of ice, rainstorms, harsh terrain, sometimes even into intense wind and thunderstorms yet always making it through. Humility was not something that was on my mind, or a virtue I was well acquainted with for that matter. I never once thought it was God bringing against me this strong adversity, I looked to shakespearean motivational theme's to get me through like "the seeds of adversity carry with them the greater of equivalent of something better" and my old Grandpa's saying "keep on keepin on, the best is yet to be".

    I knew God was real I had felt his presence before, yet I avoided it strongly. Once when I finally had a day off this girl I met at WSU invited me to a campfire at 'the cliffs' or so they were called. I called up my buddy nate wendt  and we picked up my other old friend chris sterling, who I knew from the year before, chris we found off greek row on the way, he was drunk and appeared lost. He rolled out with us and I casually tossed him a 6 pack. "Where are we going again? Nate reiterated. "The cliffs, wherever the hell that is" I said taking another big pull of my 40. Apparently it was 30 miles outside pullman, we both had the darnest time finding it, when we eventually did, I got out feeling a good buzz going on. I stumbled out and stretched "well, we're here boys..wheres the alcohol?" "You don't need any more alcohol" Nate said as we started climbing the rocks, beginning our steep ascent up the cliffs in the general direction of a flickering fire. when we finally arrived, we found a group of people singing around a fire. "What the hell is this" I said "Where's the keg of beer, skinny dippers and music?" Apparently we had stumbled upon a church group, someone came up expressing dissatisfaction in our inebriated estate. "Why are you drunk?" he said looking at me, surprised at the direct question I replied "Why arent you drunk? Are you guys all sober, singing koom by yah hymns here or whats the occasion?" Long story short it was not a good impression, the girl I met was not impressed, we hung out later and things turned around after a fire and night of star watching, yet soon after things went south. I tried to make amends even going as far as buying a bouquet of flowers with a 5 dollar starbucks gift card attatched with a note left at her door. For some reason even that wasn't enough it was like every 'potential' relationship with a member of the opposite sex blew up in my face with a resounding 'kaboom', and many times it was unfortunate circumstances not entirely my fault, either way I was feeling similar to comedian Dane Cook in  "Good Luck Chuck". Every girl he encountered ended up leaving soon after because of a hex placed on him in middle school. On one particular occasion he agree's to hook up with a continent of a woman just to rid himself of the curse, she was a warmth in the winter and shade in the summer, had bad acne and was generally all-around unpleasant  "you can sink this soldier all you want" his best friend tells him "if this was the last woman on the face of the planet humanity would come to a screeching halt" I wasn't quite to this level of desperation but the thought it didn't work for him either, after hooking up with a 'planet' with Jupiter's big spot blemishes didn't give me any warm feelings. At the end of the movie he changes his selfish ways and finds the culprit, his voodoo doll, and the woman who placed the hex on him removes the needle. This of course was all after a typical romantic hollywood chick flick ending with him paying thousands of dollars to stop a flight to australia with her on board, professes his undying love to her, wins her heart, swoops her off her very feet and him and Jessica Alba are happy ever after. This was not my fairy tale ending mind you, I wish I had the redeeming element of a fairy tale ending with Jessica Alba in it. Nevertheless, that's pretty much the movie summarized in a nutshell. Long story short, things never worked out for me on the relationship field and my friends could attest to it.

  Around February I picked up a second job at Fireside bar and grille in Pullman, which I worked on the weekends. The lady I questioned about an opening, well she hired me on the spot. Their bartender had just been fired and they were badly in need of servers. I was only to happy to fill the void. It started out great I was making over a hundred dollars a night in tips on some occassions and biking to Moscow to work my other job at the starbucks on Monday-Thursdays. I mean sometimes it was hard it got cold at night on the palouse in february and march and many times I worried about a BUI (biking under the influence) heading back to the house I lived in. The view was killer though, which is one of the reasons I stayed for so long. I only paid 325 in rent, there was a hot tub and firepit, a great view of campus, when I first found the place my eyes were like saucers, I visualized a snippet of heaven. "Summer College parties, flowing booze, girls in bikini's in and out of the hot tub a fire pit as well all with an amazing view of campus below to boot. There was cheap rent, a scenic trail to bike, this is great success I thought. None of these idea's I had in my head worked out and the voodoo curse/hex placed on me involving girls I strongly believe was a real thing. Now you kind of get a mental picture of where I'm at, besides getting scammed for everything I owned which I talked about in an earlier blog, that was quite possibly the most embarrassing thing I have ever been associated with and just thinking about it makes me wince. But God had his reasons and it humbled me. 

      Things continued to get worse:

   It was in May that I learned a family was moving in and we all had to be out of the house, soon after all my roommates in the upper two floors had departed and I was the lone tenant downstairs, I was left with many items I had no desire to keep, for one a snake kit, I'm not sure if a prior roommate had a python for a pet or what the deal was, but soon I started heaving things that would burn to the firepit. The rest consisting of random debris and kitchen utensils I placed in giant bags. The garbage had been cut off and I started walking down the street with the full trash cans and was promptly wrote a ticket for placing them in a dumpster that wasn't mine. Are you kidding me? I thought. My blankets and sleeping bag was sprayed on by a cat, these I kept in the closet because I could not for the life of me get the smell out I took them all outside and hosed them down with vinigar and water, and left them to dry, returned to work and someone had stolen them all. "Whatever" I mused, at least I have my mattress and some furniture. On a day off I went to Re-max and explained my situation, I was in shad shape couldn't afford to move out, had no license and was left with a good deal of stuff I did not want. He just replied "Well, we need you out, find a way to deal with your situation, and we noticed you have a broken screen door panel,we investigated as to the cause of this and found evidence, you're roommates said your head went through it one time and we want you to replace that the cost is $700" I gasped, surely they would find out, my head did indeed go through one of the panels as I was talking to my roommate and looking over my shoulder I walked into the door, he had just left prior and did not leave it open, so imagine my surprise, the other roommates heard the crash and came down to investigate. I scraped all the glass out and was left with a single panel it was virtually unnoticeable that a panel was missing until a roommate was contacted by RE-MAX about it. This is just events that no longer surprised me, things were getting so bad for me. Well I couldn't pay it. And I had 2 days to be out. I texted my friend Guy that I was up shit creek without an oar and needed help. He texted back: "E-mail Matt, he saved my life and he can help you, he's my best friend, I love the guy, be at bucer's cafe at 6 am tomorrow though for bible study" study? I mused, huh, maybe that's what I need a bible study anyway. I got up the next morning and overslept past 6 I was feeling tired and moody, I didnt have work that day so I got on my bike and started toward Moscow to meet this "Matt Becker" guy. The sun was beginning to rise over the hills of the Palouse, the air was cool, crisp and refreshing, it was a beautiful morning, my cares seemed to be gone in the light of this splendor I was seeing in front of me. I knew I was late and it would take me 30 minutes to reach Moscow on bike so I said a quick prayer, "God if I'm met to meet Matt, please allow him to be there, allow some reason to delay him so I can talk" I arrived at Bucers late and asked the barista there making coffee if she knew a "Matt Becker", "Yes of course" she replied "He's right outside now" He was a middle aged man with red hair and a beard, I went up and inquired if his name was Matt Becker. Sure enough it was him, he told me that he usually he wasn't here this late but for some reason this morning he got caught up in conversation with telling this man sitting across from him about Jesus and was delayed. "Huh, I thought" God must have heard me. 

    Matt told me we could meet the next morning though as he had things to do, I then went to starbucks bought an iced Americano and reading a book on world religions. Someone soon came up to me and said he noticed my book and inquired as to what I was reading.  I explained that I was reading about Islam and how they pray to every God even Jesus himself when they pray. He then explained he's been going to this bible study at Bucer's led my a Matt Becker, I said "that's crazy,I just talked to him 15 minutes ago" He then elaborated on the type of people that come to this bible study, many of them either had drug issues, recovering alcoholics or convicts with felonies, and Matt put them all to work and gave them jobs. Matt pretty much owned half the town and was one of the most self effacing people I'd ever heard of. I showed up the next morning to bible study waking up at my room in Pullman at 5 am and hitting the Palouse trail. After the bible study I looked out and Matt was directing these people to jobs and giving them paychecks and selflessly serving them in a way I've never seen before, it stunned me,  Guy who I texted soon after showed up at Bucer's, now how I met Guy Russel was an interesting story of its own of which I can briefly elaborate on.

   I was still biking 15 miles a day to work in march and getting scammed out of my mind around march when I met this intriguing figure. He was an enigmatic character who could make you laugh, smile or shake your head just by being around him. He was a prior millionaire who now found himself serving tables in a small eastern WA college town after losing millions of dollars, it humbled him to an extent he'll tell you the same thing, life is for learning, he's had 2 DUI's and messed things up on a galactic scale, lost friends and family had to bike to work in freezing Utah winters, he knew what it was like to have it all then lose it all. I love the guy and glad I met him. But I've learned from this and his 9/11 cataclysmic experiences. His friend Matt Becker was a born again christian who saved his life. Things got so bad for him at one point he was suicidal, living in a car he could not afford payments for, multiple people told him "You have to meet Matt", so instead he went out to meet this guy "Matt Becker" who I emailed recently about work, he had this motto under his return email "we exist to bring the awesome life if Christ to a lost and broken world" this is the same guy that just gave him a car for free so he could drive that once lived that same high-roller life as him acting like a prick. He'd find me on the trail from time to time and pull in, throw my bike in and give me a ride to work which was always nice.. Circumstances change you and affect you these people and stories are lessons that show me no matter how far you climb you can be brought down even further than you realized.  I'm now contemplating a new way to go about life. It takes waking up and smelling the coffee to realize what your decisions in life have cost you and others. There's a reason I've been cruelly manipulated, I've done the same to others, close friends and family even, I wasn't a prick, I cared about people I just didn't give any heed to the consequences of my actions or how to help others. I lost thousands but Guy Russel has a far more intriguing story, he's lost millions, once lived a carefree lifestyle, full of drugs, booze, cheap tricks, sloots and lots of risks. I mean he'd tell you stories of barrel rolling a plane across the pacific in the cockpit of a plane of 20 people after doing cocaine lines, then landing that same plane forgetting to put the landing gear down and setting the entire runway on fire with screaming people on bored and getting away with it all, also being apprehended and after passing out behind the wheel of a truck with his kid in the car and a news crew to arrest him upon waking up, this same person married into a wealthy family, there were so many noteworthy people at the wedding he didn't even invite his own mother to his wedding because there were so many famous people there, he obliterated bridges of almost everyone that cared for him all in the pursuit of money. The warning signs were there but just like me he didn't take heed. Now he drives a creaky dilapidated blazer that Matt gave him and was in a car 6 months ago ready to blow his brains out if Matt hadn't saved his life. Look where this pursuit of the pot has gotten us I explained, were both train wrecks in a small college town apartment separated from friends and family with nothing. The door kicked in, we could be taken for everything we own which is nothing. Everything we had has been reduced to 0. Then there is Matt Becker who owns half the town and has bible studies every morning at Bucers bringing in kids with criminal records and severe problems and giving them jobs, his self less behavior changes lives but he also owns half the city. He makes 3500 a month and gives it all away to these kids but it always comes back. Some things I've learned are successful people make quick moves, own their mistakes and if you want to be happy and successful also care about people around them. I wanna be like Matt.

   With that background of these two men's lives, one who was once a selfish prick, owner of a big time company in Denver, encountered adversity and heartbreak after his wife cheated on him, and came back to his hometown of Moscow, as a broken and bitter man, he was sitting in a chair at Bucer's cafe one day when in walked this 90 evangelist named Jim Wilson who handed him a pamphlet, Jim's 2 sons were both well know Pastors, his oldest Doug is well noted for his preaching and has written several books. Matt was dyslexic and couldn't read all of a sudden was able to read the whole pamphlet, setting it down, he was convinced and was saved that day and never once looked back, now he always had drive and charisma but what he lacked was humility and grace, after reading the pamphlet he went out and started changing everything about his life, started a company called "Revival construction" and started helping the poor people in the town find work. Now what was so compelling about Mass was his personality he was just aglow and loved helping these kids, after I lost everything save a sleeping bag he looked at me and said that's great, I give away everything all the time and it's wonderful. I asked him "what gives you this kind of joy and constant energy?" He said "The Holy Spirit, it's crazy when you actually do God's work the joy you have, many Americans and churches don't live out the great commission of looking after the poor and others in need and they wonder why they are not happy"

   Soon after meeting matt he got me in contact with Jim Wilson, the 90 year old evangelist who saved his soul. This guy was a fossil, he had bad knees and moved around on a walker, yet his intellect was as sharp as a tact. I sat down out on the porch and as I was introduced he asked me how old I was, then a series of questioned me about my life style "How's your mouth?", "my mouth?" I replied, he then opened the bible and turned to an exact page, he knew this bible like the back of his hand and pointed to a verse and mentioned the ways of the world and their behavior. He then asked if my behavior modeled this outline: Drunkeness, slandering, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions.."Not exactly" I replied "I've been around people who model this behavior quite frequently" "No", he pointed a finger at me then gazed at me intently, I felt as though he was peering into my very soul. I stirred uncomfortably in my chair. "I don't mesh with those people, I mean I don't feel connected with them if that's what you mean, I've always felt empty around them like there is something missing and there within that cant satisfy" We went on and talked for awhile. I was riveted the whole time by his life story, there was something very compelling about him, as he got up to leave I asked him "Did you feel a connection? Or was that just me?" He then said "Could be God, He might be working here" Later that day him and Matt talked and they both agreed they weren't sure "yep, could be saved" They both said.

    There was this girl I met around this time who struggled with demonic attacks and poltergeist type of scars were apparent all over her body, we were talkin about demons and angels and the like when she said she just saw a figure move behind me, he was a little boy with black oval eyes, I turned around and of course saw nothing  but my hands soon after became clammy and cold ,which is a sign on paranormal activity. "I always see things before I get attacked, but now I'm fine its quite odd, as soon as she left I heard her scream and came back, to see scratch marks on her arm."It's bizarre" she said, had never seen anything like it, "they don't like your energy" she replied. "Maybe I'm just protected" I said, soon after she looked into my eye and said she saw a white figure standing beside me, I knew she wasn't lying, based on stories she's told me I came to the conclusion she was clairvoyant, and could see that others co to couldn't. This was all just part of God's plan I believe to strengthen my faith.

    Back to my current situation at hand though, soon after meeting Matt at Bucers Cafe I found myself couch surfing at Guy's apartment with what furniture I had all piled up outside the apartment. The entire apartment complex was owned by Matt, he managed a good deal of property and owned pretty much half the town. I got on at Smoky Mountain Pizza as a server soon after and was biking the trail through the Idaho campus to both jobs. I was fired at fireside restaurant in May, the reasons were vague and basically I was told I was not being a 'team player' I did a fine job of working my own tables though, they were cutting labor for the summer when all the students went home and I got the axe, this once again was another 'hammer blow' to my pride. I remember meeting Kevin down at 'my office' bar and grille in one of the most awkward encounters of my life, Kevin was a friend of mine I basically said "Does the fact were here mean I'm fired?" He kind of looked at me and said "Yes, I was hoping to ease into this realization after buying a couple beers but I can't lie" Guy came soon after to meet us and I broke the news, he tried to laugh it off explaining how many jobs he'd lost by simply 'screwin off' and not caring, how his buddy sat 5 years in prison for him, taking the fall for them illegally distributing ecstacy, none of this did much to ease my sentient however and I still recall Kevin grabbing the 3rd of fourth pitcher he bought and refilling my glass as I was sitting there fighting back tears of emotion.   I have been to 'my office' twice, both occasions were not memorable, the  the first was when the Seahawks lost the Super Bowl after throwing an interception on the 1 yard line and we all stumbled home and downed a fifth the second was when I was fired. Looking back on my Fireside experience and being let go I see it as a blessing in disguise, I didn't care that much, I was in back downing coffee and laughing at Guy's jokes, not really taking the job seriously as I should have. Now the whole reason I was even hired was because Guy's friend Matt Becker who I would later meet at Bucers happened to be at Fireside and was talking about Jesus to the bartender who publicly mocked God and him, saying he was an atheist, Matt looked right at him and said "I wouldn't do that if I was you, God isn't mocked" The next day that same bartender who mocked Matt and God himself came in trippin' off some drug and followed one of the waitresses into the bathroom and was promptly fired, I showed up hours later and they hired me. So I can see that it was God opening the door there just so I could meet Guy and subsequently Matt who changed my life. 

    However soon after moving to the apartment I quit attending the bible studies. I was told my Jim and Matt that God was moving toward me and if I ignored that persuasion things could get worse..well they got worse, I was struck by a car on my bike and had a hard fall about a week prior that gave me a swollen eye and scraped up a good part of my face. I was using a borrowed bike to get around town. And soon after the bike chain snapped in half in the middle of an intersection for no apparent reason. I walked back to the Palouse bike shop and asked for my dad's old bike back, I was soon after walking across town in all black work clothes in the sweltering heat just to get to work, my old bike had a bent fork in it and was virtually un-serviceable. Soon after I was playing mario kart and as I was sitting on top of the glass frame of my coffee table, which happened to be the last piece of furniture I owned, and my ass went right through it as I got blue shelled right before the finish line, the events happened simultaneously as if the digital and the physical reality hit me hard.  At the end of the month Guy and me had to be out of the apartment, I knew I couldn't move what items I had left via UHaul because I had no license and no where else to go.I lost everything I had in storage, I put all my bags of clothes outside, pitched chairs in the dumpster, some lady noticed me heaving heavy items of value away and called salvation army, asked if she could have any of it? I said please take it all, here you want a thousand dollar tempurpedic mattress? She then started crying and said I have 4 kids and am getting evicted today, I cant afford anything, that item is worth more than I've ever had in life. The salvation army just came and picked up your stuff, you really helped people today. I smiled and said good, I prayed a few hours before that I could help people, it was amazing how quickly it was received.I had to be out of the apartment today. Soon after I realized I didn't even have a broom to sweep the apartment, I mean I literally had nothing. I was a block from my empty apartment heading for the chevron in search of a broom soon after I heard a honk and saw Matt say "jump in"  sent to one of his houses, "College kids always leave things "there's your broom" he said " "oh apples to apples I better snag this to play with my daughter" upon opening the freezer "huh, otter pops, here take 2" looking at the rooms "huh, tempurpedic, nice mattress, better donate that to the hope center" I just donated a tempurpedic I replied "did you really? Well good for you, you're learning" next thing I knew I was standing outside my apartment with s broom and 2 otter pops stunned at the events that just transpired. I mean this guy owns at least half the town, what is going on. I realized left my phone in his truck however and soon after Guy show's up in his squeaky dilapidated blazer. Soon after we were hauling a dresser out of the apartment Guy was about to heave it off the rails before looking at me and saying lets take this down ourselves, "I just know I'd crush the ol' lady downstairns in a wheelchair right as she rolls out and we'd have a homocide on our hands", I laughed out loud at this, "Oh I can already see it happening, with our luck" 

   Soon after I jumped in the blazer and with eerily screeching brakes headed for the bank, I'm not going to Zions bank, I already owe them a couple million he said, we stopped at the bank only to find the doors had just locked. "Let's hit the drive thru they might be open" "Hell no", he replied, I cant be seen with this rig" I found it interesting how the prior affluent party boy could not lower himself to be seen in this car. But that was just Guy, he had his struggles and life was hard for both of us now. Soon after we found Matt, he looks at me and says "I don't know how we found Matt, but now you can get your phone" Walking up to him, Matt was his usual self, parked outside a house in his F-150 with an open laptop looking up and greeting us with a smile handing me my phone as well. "I just put a deal together for a good sum of money he says" "How much?" Guy replied "About 27 million net cash" "27 million Guy whistled incredulously "I just talked to that same guy in order to finalize that deal and he said GTFO, how did you pull that off?" "Matt just smiled back and "Jesus, that's all" Now Guy was a mormon and considered himself a christian but Matt straight up will tell him he is going to hell if he continues to believe in that. "We need a place to crash" Guy said, motioning to an upper room "You can grab a blanket and crash there, I'm renovating that house" Guy and me walked upstairs to scope it out and I see Guy pacing the sawdust covered floor and mumbling under his breath "no, no, no, this will never do" Upon exiting the house we found Matt still there yelling out his window now "I have a camper if you need it Guy!, on my moms lawn 2 campers actually! I can put both of you up for free" but Guy's pride was far too great he couldn't stay there. We soon after left and Guy seemed to be losing his mind a bit, "27 million" he kept muttering under his breath as if the money captivated his senses entirely, robbing him of all good reasoning skills. ave "Do you have any cocaine?" He asked "Or do you know of anyone who does?" "I can get hook you up with one phone call I replied, "I won't do any lines but if you want some hash", "no, no, he said, let's grab some beer" We went back to a now vacant empty apartment, and Guy was now on the phone trying to work something out, "I'll be right back" he replied, soon after I heard the blazer start up I rummaged around for a blanket and instead found a bath towel and soon after passed out on the floor. I woke up to a girl who looked a little past her prime, strung out and lit, "must have picked her up at the bar" I mused and soon after hit the towel that was my pillow again. I woke up again an hour later and noticed it was getting dark, her and Guy were both gone now, walking into the bathroom I noticed an open bottle of Jim Bean and fought the urge to take a large pull. I hadn't drank a lick of liquor in days, I tossed my hookah stand in the dumpster, I was going thorough purge of my things I figured tI could do without it and my lungs could use a brake, well I was missing it now as I found myself wandering aimlessly through an empty apartment. I decided to shoot Matt an e'mail "Hey you around?" The reply was immediate "Yes come to revival construction building" Now Matt built a patio outside this building, he strung christmas lights across the patio and planted some small vegetation as well as played music at night, it was a very relaxing setting, and at times over this last month, when I was bored I would waunder off to this patio to ease my mind, sometimes Matt would be there, other times Guy, still others I knew from Bible study or workers for Matt I'd see hanging around from time to time, it was kind of like I was getting to know a new family and I liked it. 

   I found Matt outside with his wife and as soon as I got near him I felt at ease, it was the same feeling I got when I looked into the elder Jim Wilson's eyes, a peaceful sense of well being, one I couldn't explain. I sat down and waited for Matt to finish talking to one of his workers to explain how Guy was losing his marbles a bit, to which he just laughed "oh guy? did he go pick up a sleeze whore from the bars, did he turn to his 3 vices: drugs, alcohol, women, to deal with the pain of missing that deal? "Everything you said just transpired" I said. "Guy was in my wedding Matt said, he's a great character has a good heart, a great sense of humor even but he's attached to his idols, he's a stubborn foolish man. He doesn't understand how I can be so emotionally un attatched to the outcome when it comes to money, that 27 million, if I land the deal? I'll give it alll away and the Lord knows that, that's why I have so much joy, I don't care and he doesnt understand that, he's greedy" He asked how much stuff I had total, like a box and a bag, "well let's go get it" he ran an extension cord out, worked the outside shower secured the bed, gave me some snacks and said that's your place for a week have a nice night. Next thing you know I'm now laying in a camper trailor now after Matt put me there I asked him what I owed him for it "Your crazy he said, I invest in souls, see you at bible study tomorrow"

   The next day Guy showed up to bible study and asked me why I always listen to Matt and not him now, "you think Matt's the only one that cares about you, yeah, I get it, swim away from the drowning swimmer, I get it" "It's not like that I replied, everything I've done over the last few months has been for myself, I didn't care about people unless they first cared about me or had something to offer, but here's Matt who gives away almost everything to these poor people who do nothing in return for him and the money always come's back, you see, we talk about religion alot, we can talk about it alot, but dyslexic Matt can barely ad or write is uneducated and yet owns half the town, there is something to him that breeds success, he's humble, he's caring and I wanna be like him." I knew Guy wanted to help me but did'nt know how, he took me to the book store wanted me to buy think and grow rich, and I put it down before leaving, he said "that was only 5 bucks, it could change your life", "I don't want to think and grow rich" I said " I want to think and help others grow rich, I'm trying a different way" "Okay" He just said, right after I tipped the pizza guy 5 bucks for a 15 dollar pizza "trying a different way I get it. 



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